Home

The Charmer is resting in the living room of our home now, on a slanted bed, that inclines his head a bit.  He's very pleased to be home, as we all are, but he reminds us routinely that he doesn't like laying on his back 24/7.  We will likely make a paper chain for something that he can tear off one link a day to help him see the passing/progress of time over these next 5.5 weeks!

His incisions look very good, and he's eating and drinking well.  The x-ray post surgery, is sobering.  So much metal and such little bones!  The steel plates they affixed to his legs, the 11 pins and screws, make a very interesting photo!  And, I realized my error in the last post...that he has so many fancy  additions, that rivals Lee Majors...not Steve Majors! (Decidedly 1970's American reference to the "Six Million Dollar Man" TV Show!)

Our thoughts and prayers now focus on life regenerating in his hip sockets, complete healing and strength in his femurs that were completely cut through, shortened and re-attached, and continued protection from infection!  We must also now begin searching for braces for his hips and legs.  He has some fashioned braces for his knees, but we need a bracing system that would give him support from the hips to the knees so that he can learn to walk. :)

The weight of this surgery, the anticipation of it for so long, was a greater burden on our hearts and minds than I think we realized.  We're certainly not through the tough parts of the journey, but, we've taken one giant leap forward!!!

We are to move house next Friday. We could really use your prayers in this area as it is now very cold here on the Tibetan Plateau, it is risky to move The Charmer any distance, and we are running low on resources necessary to achieve it.

On our way to x-ray

Moving down the road, to get to the building with the x-ray machine

Still in good spirits...hoping to go home!

Day 2 - Post-Op

It was a long and hairy night in the recovery/observation room.

Sometime between two and five am, the catheter The Charmer was using, blocked.  As he was being pumped full of fluids, they started to leak around the catheter site and within a short period of time the entire bed, blanket, and his new cast was soaked with urine.  That was an unfortunate thing in itself, but the fact that I could not get the nurse to DO ANYTHING about it, made me nearly crazy.  I was told, over and over again, that I "must wait to talk to the doctor after nine am."  Then a second  nurse came on duty at seven am.  Same story, only this time, the situation had grown even worse and now The Charmer was really uncomfortable as the cast over his midsection was causing increasing pressure on his bladder that could not be adequately emptied.  His whole face started to look very puffy and superman did not feel so super anymore.  I thought I was going to hurt someone.

Amazingly, when our surgeon/teammate came at 8 am, I was fit to be tied and he remedied it, HIMSELF, in a matter of moments.  Then he and I carried The Charmer, cast and cape, "flying" through the hallway to our semi-private :)  room..semi-private is such a funny term here...all night last night people were opening our curtains, lifting the sheets to see The Charmer's battle scars...staring, prodding, poking...without any sense of intrusion.   However, the surgeon's getting involved personally and taking care of what should have been the nurses' duty,  caused a major face issue for the nurses, but it was expedient and effective.   I heard the retell of it several times in the hallway of the ward during the day! The result of this catheter mishap resulted in a major reworking of his cast and new bandages in every location we could reach.

He's got quite a bit of pain, especially around the incision spots.  He is up and down emotionally, and makes it clear to everyone that:  1) He hates needles.  2) He's got to "get out of here."  3)  Everyone needs to say sorry to him.

I am home now, Daddy is sitting bedside, and we're trying to attend to everyone's needs.  I will shower, clean up everyone here, and have some time with them...then I'll return to the hospital tonight about 10 and Daddy will come home as he must drive the kids to school in the morning and teach his first class at 8 am.  I don't teach until 1:30 in the afternoon...he'll return to the hospital to relieve me.  And so it goes...

The other big issue of the day was that The Bug, had some serious abdominal pain, focused in one area of her abdomen...that presented as a possible appendicitis.  I got the call at 10 am that Daddy and she were on her way to the hospital to be seen in emergency.  I needed to register her (a circus in itself), meet their car and take her to emergency and then to the different departments for necessary testing.  (Here, no matter how much pain you are in, the patient must walk/be carried from department to department of the hospital for testing.  Whether it be blood draws, x-ray, ultrasound, cat scan...everything is in its location...and the patient prepays the fee, then goes to the department in various different buildings/floors, on foot to have the tests run.  This was no easy task for a girl with a severe stomach pain.  We have seen many times, people taken outside on gurneys from building to building in the snow/rain/whatever, so that they can have their tests run.

The tests showed some problems with white cell count, some reasons for abdominal pain (not appendicitis, thank the Lord), and she has come home tonight to rest.  Please lift her up as she is still not feeling very well and wants her Momma who will be away again tonight.  For awhile today, I thought we might be on the surgical floor two times in two days with two different kids!

There will be more blood work tomorrow, and if there is no sign of infection, we may be sent home with superman to begin his six week total bed rest.  He must lie down all the time, no sitting up, but CAN have a pillow under his head.  I'm sure you can imagine how much fun this will be as we're also set to move house (to one with heat on the first floor!) in just nine days.  :)

More children entered our sphere today, more courageous parents who are fighting for their kids, fighting for those who have needs!  Ah, I feel so humbled to be among them!  These are real champions.  While I know from a Western perspective that seems dramatic, you might think "of course, you do anything for your child"...but here, due to the costs of health care payable up front, very few doctors who ever give a good prognosis for a child with needs as they are afraid of themselves being defamed if the child doesn't have a complete recovery, and the pressure in the society to have ONE perfect kid...these parents who we're mingling with now...they are my heroes.

I thought about the loneliness of a child without someone to fight for them.  Some of our own children were once those, without parents, without someone to take up their cause.  I felt quite alone for a bit while I waited for Daddy to come to join me in the surgical wait (yes, I should have savored time alone, but it felt very vulnerable, very out of control with our boy in the OR)  I wept and prayed and told God everything I was feeling...and then I remembered the army of family and friends carrying us before the Throne...and I was awash with comfort. 

I hope that it is that same feeling of comfort that the Charmer experiences when I wash him, wipe his brow, protect him and reassure him during the scary parts.  He's just a little boy on an enormous journey, he needs his Dad and Mom to do everything we can to help him now.  I am so glad we can be there for him.

We are too, little children, in our Father's eyes...those who need loving care to manage this journey.   While my parenting is flawed and painfully limited, His is perfect and unlimited...when all else fails, He remains.

Surgery

After 8.5 hours in the operating room, The Charmer emerged.

 

He was really angry coming out of anesthesia, and he was

 very, very verbal. 
We were taken down to the surgical anti-room at 7:10 am, 

at 7:30 he was promptly whisked into the OR.   

 He looked over the nurse's shoulder who carried him away 

 from me and said, "Momma, you wait right there!"

 The start of surgery was rough.  They had to try five 

different locations and veins to get his IV started.  

 Once they would find a vein, and the medicine was pushed,

 his vein would blow out.  

 Sadly he was awake and very traumatized by this.   

I had hoped that the anesthesia would wipe out some of 

memory of that, but no such luck.  As soon as he could 

utter the words,he was shouting and accusing any and all 

medical personnel of being mean!

 He kept insisting that everyone must apologize to him.

The surgical report: all the planned work was completed.

 Overall, the surgery was successful, though longer than

 anticipated. Sadly, we became more aware of the poor 

quality/strength of his bones. 

While doing work with a bone saw on his right hip, 

and grasping at the upper portion of the pelvis, the bone 

simple broke away.  

 This was remedied by more screws...and generally, this guy 

is going to be more re-built with designer parts than Steve 

Majors.

 
The plan is six weeks of a half-body cast.  With no sitting 

upright (bending at the hip) whatsoever.


Due to the significant length of the surgery, they've 

required us to stay in the observation room (also see 

"busier than a milking parlor before first light").


We have two new interesting roommates in our future space...

a boy with three fingers in each hand fused (something I've 

seen dozens I'd times in orphanages)... But this is a boy 

with his whole family here for his surgery to correct his 

hands!  

 The boy is two and soooo spoiled, though he has charmed me 

thoroughly. Calling me auntie at first sight (usual for 

Chinese to Chinese but far less common to receive as a 

foreigner) and pleading with his mom to share some of his 

gum with me, before waving good bye to me and blowing me 

a kiss!  

 The second child, a boy who had his kidney removed, due 

to a tumor. Likely a similar thing to one of our other sons.  

 I was able to encourage his patents about our own son, 

living  a healthy, active life with one kidney!


Our Charmer wore a Superman cape into surgery this morning,

 and told me just moments ago, in a pain free spell..."I 

am Superman."

Yes.

He is.

The Countdown.

It's really here.

Our little man goes back to the hospital in just eight hours.  We'll sit and wait for them to come with the final papers to sign; consenting to all the risks of the major surgery.

The anesthesiologist asked me today, all the consent questions, in Chinese, about the length of his surgery...potential heart complications, brain complications, and on and on...

We're supposed to go down to surgery at 7:30 am.  It's different here.  The patient's family carries/pushes the patient to the surgical elevator, carrying all the medicines/drips/supplies for the patient's surgery, and a box of ibuprofen (to manage the surgical pain!?)  We are responsible to carry them into a sort of anti-room just outside of the surgical suite.  We will wait there again.  Then, a surgical nurse will come and carry him directly into the OR, and I will sit outside, on metal chairs, for 5-6 hours (best case.)  Daddy will join me after the other kids are off to school.  And at some point and time someone will come out, call out The Charmer's name, and we'll rush into the anti-room again where we must transfer his little body from the surgical bed, onto a gurney and then again transport him up to his room again.

It seems surreal.

We are in the final hours before he gets the surgery we've been dreaming about for nearly three years.  Tonight, I feel ready...and yet...I want to stop time and protect him from the hard stuff ahead.

This boy is a fighter.  He is a dreamer.  He is more than I ever imagined him to be.  He so magnificently exceeds everything anyone ever said about his condition, his prognosis, his "potential."  I am so grateful that I was given the chance to be his mother. 

I am hopeful.  I am fearful.  Yet, I will choose to believe along with him for the miracle.  We. will. see. the lame. walk.

I am tearful.  I am conflicted.  I am joyous, that he is getting his chance. 

Thank you, to each of you that has believed with us.  Those who have prayed for us and given financially to us.   His chance at surgery and hope for healing is because you have come alongside us.

Pressing on....

A sketch of tomorrow's surgical plan...five bone incisions, two steel plates, multiple screws...and probably some transfused blood...

Several of the kids and neighbors gathered to pray over The Charmer last night

The Big Week

It's 6:30 am here.

We're loading up The Charmer, his wheelchair, and all the kids.

First stop is to drop off everyone at school.

The second stop is for The Charmer and Momma to go back to the hospital for the pre-surgical work-up.  Blood, x-rays, ECG, paperwork and money...as it's time for the big show.  In twenty four hours he should be in the process of being prepped for surgery.

We got a diagram of what they're going to do to his little bones.  Five incisions, five different cuts through the bone, lots of screws and two new plates to hold his newly "reduced" femurs together again.  1.5 to 2 cms of bone will be removed from each femur to reduce the pressure in the hip sockets...casting is projected for six weeks.

We will continue to update here as we have internet access.

The hospital is a "wi-fi free" zone.

We'll be seeing Shi-yu and her parents today.  Our hope is to return home tonight, rest in our own beds, and then head in for surgery at 6:30 am tomorrow.

Please lift up the surgery and The Charmer, of course...but please remember our other kids, who will all bear the stress and strain of this surgery in their own ways.  It is a very difficult time of worry and instability for them as well, and they are apprehensive about it, understandably.

We are in the hands of a brilliant surgeon who loves The Charmer too.  Beyond that, we are in the hands of the Greatest Physician, Provider, Healer, and Father...who knows every need and goes before us.  To Him be the glory.

They lead us...

So, after an eventful (as usual) day of school, we headed off to the hospital to get the pins in The Charmer's legs, again. 

His mood was astounding, given all he's been through in these past months.  He's so ready, to do what has to be done, he is GOING TO WALK...

...He is going to DANCE! 

He declares it, at every opportunity.  What a charge he gives us!  He is leading us with his gentle, powerful, insistence...he has unshakable faith.  How blessed we are to watch this, to be challenged by this journey.  Who would we all be, if not for him in our lives? 

It was close.  We nearly passed him over.  We nearly allowed our fear and his precious, challenged body rob us of the chance to be his family.  Absolutely nothing made sense when we made the choice to adopt him.  For those of you who know the lengthy battle we had amongst our family, four daughters with their convictions overwhelming their parents' "reasonable" refusals.  It all began because our, then seven-year-old daughter Brownie found The Charmer in a room full of babies at the orphanage, he himself already four years old, and she made him a promise, "I will not leave you here, I will come back for you."  Her focus, her belief in possibilities,  her conviction...her unshakable faith.

Lessons - afforded us because of these children in our family.

We simply could not estimate the number of times we've been asked, "why?"  Why so many kids?  Why kids with significant special needs?  Why did you expose your biological kids to the risks of adoption?

There are so many answers to these questions, reasons to give, but at this moment,I am certain of this ...because they change us, challenge, us...they lead us by their faith. 

Today, two more pins were placed.  The Charmer was brave.  It was so difficult to watch those pins drilled through again...fear rising in my throat...prayers against bacteria, for strong bones, for successful stretching of those essential muscles.

Then I looked into his eyes on the table.  Their steely resolve encouraging me to let go and believe for the miracle that he expects through all this.  We choose to believe.  Believe along with us, pray for these essential days of traction, and rebuke infection!

We'll leave you with photos our two hour hospital visit.  We thought you might enjoy the diversity of faces who came to stand and stare at us, unabashedly.   We're just "not in Kansas anymore."

These guys are from Tibet - they viewed our living exhibit (us sitting on hospital benches) for a good forty minutes

The elaborate minority attire on this lady on the right included hair braids that extended down below her waist and were then woven/attached directly to her belt.

These two pinched and poked at the boys for seemingly ages...intermittently chanting and fingering their beads

Another patient...whose parents are not cheating him on daily meals...

These Muslim ladies were enchanted with our spectacle

We visited Shi-Yu!  She is doing SO, SO, SO much better!  Her parents thanked you all for your prayers.  It could still be weeks before she goes home...her parents have deeply inspired us!

A Buddhist monk wants to touch the "white-hair boy"... Daddy puts a protective hand on his son's head, in response

So, there you have it.  Just another day in our life here...hanging on for what each challenge brings.

Traction - the Remix

Met with our surgeon tonight and he examined The Charmer.

New plan...re-start traction by placing new pins in both legs on Monday.

Pull 24 hours a day for seven days.

New surgical date: November 18.

Projected house move-in date: November 28.

So yeah...just need a little grace, and courage, as we move toward the next sizable hurdle before us. 

Though tonight we cower a bit, we remember Who holds the future...and He is ever good.

Bloodwork - Good!

Sorry for the lapse in updates.  We've had four birthdays, a harvest party at school, several trips to the hospital...and lots of other events...in the past few days!

The Charmer really is a superman!

We spent two hours (processing through and waiting at the hospital) on Saturday to get the updated numbers on infection for The Charmer.  The incredible news is that his blood count is back to NORMAL!  We've had 14 days of massive antibiotics, and nine more to go...and he's been doing it!  He has willingly digested the warm water/mixed with antibiotic granules...four times a day.  His legs look great and he's pulled through a nasty cough that had him down for several days over the past week.  When he gets a cough, it is terrible as his lung capacity is so slight.  We will meet with the surgeon on Wednesday to revise the surgical plan.  It is probable that this weekend we will begin traction again (please pray for wisdom as to if we put pins through the legs again or go another route)...and hopefully will be having surgery within a week after traction begins.

We are moving to a new flat in just 25 days, which can really causing some difficulty with the surgical/hospitalization requirements for The Charmer.  We're ever so excited to be settled down in a new flat as the 3rd floor one we're staying it we've not really "unpacked" to live in over these past two months!

I will leave you this evening with some photos of our recent Harvest Party event at the International School...

The H Fam...all dressed up

Mr. Sunshine...a few days before the harvest festival...this costume is somehow ironic

Bub...had a band of merry men

One tough Brownie Ninja

Magpie, our cowgirl

The Bug, with friends, as a Live-Eye News Reporter

The Singer, Drummer Boy, and The Bruiser try to teach Mr. Sunshine how to do a photo for Momma

Princess Potato