Two Twos

Sometimes when you’re expecting a baby…an amazing surprise greets you at that first ultrasound appointment…that precious one you’re expecting is really two…twins!

And so it is with us…

I’m beyond writing things like “you’re never going to believe this,” or “this is so crazy, but,” or the old faithful, “you might be surprised to hear”… the reality is, we’re expecting twins, via adoption.

As we’ve written about on this blog back in November, we’re in the process of bringing Noah Graham home to our brood. You can read the story of how, unexpectedly, we knew that He wanted us to open our hearts again to adoption. We’ve been running, twisting and turning ourselves this way and that to complete the home study, to assemble a dossier (the massive stack of papers required to be sent to the adoption authority), and to begin to imagine our lives with another wonderful son.

About eight weeks ago, things took an unexpected turn.

We had received an email from our home study agency that they had word from the adoption authority in our host country, that the remainder of waiting children on their agency’s list would be returned to this host country if they didn’t have a family matched to them. It was the first word we’d received that the rules/procedures here in our host country were changing again regarding adoption.

A few minutes later, I was speaking with a different agency, our adoption agency in the US. They also had a list of waiting children, children with special needs, from our host country and there were three boys remaining who had not been matched to a family. The purpose of my call to them had NOTHING to do with the boys remaining on their list, but rather about some paperwork detail on our adoption of Noah Graham. However, at the end of the conversation, the program director for our host country asked me a question that stopped me in my tracks…

“You know, “Phillip” on our list is in your city too. He has had several families review his file and no one has chosen him. He is one of my favorites and I just can’t understand why some family hasn’t claimed him for their own! Maybe it’s because his special need sounds so scary? Anyway…would your family consider bringing him home too?”

I discovered that this little guy was running out of time. That the return of his file to our host country was imminent, and no one knew what would happen to his file after that. Though my mind was rattled at the thought…having learned from the past six years of unexpected leading from the HS…I told her we would pray about it…and to send us his file.

You see just a few days prior, late one evening, Daddy and I were speaking about our calling to adoption. That we recognize that at this time, this is our primary calling, and that as He would lead us, we would obey. Daddy suggested, “You know this paperwork for the dossier has been so difficult living Here, so costly and time consuming…is there another child that we could bring home at the same time as Noah Graham?” I thought he clearly needed more sleep…and told him as such.

Back to the morning of the question from the agency… I sat in front of the computer and opened the files of the second little boy, here in our City, who lives in the orphanage just about 25 minutes from our apartment. In a bit of a daze I walked to the bedroom to tell Daddy about the question…he was just waking up…as I told him about this second boy, just one week younger than Noah Graham (both two year olds!), who was born with two darling dimples and clubbed feet. He had a horrible haircut in the most recent pictures, but sparkling eyes, and both hands had a slight deformity when he was born, they were rigidly closed. According to his file, therapy had nearly straightened his feet and his hands could both be used, but probably his greatest “strike” was that he was a boy. Boys always linger on the waiting lists for months and months…there is a terrible bias against them in adoption.

Our immediate reaction and discussion was one of disbelief and a “counting the costs” of how this boy’s adoption would affect us. Daddy was quick to point out that our big concerns, “how would we travel?” “we feel old!” and the nagging, “we will ‘look’ like there’s something wrong with us, others will think we’re fools”…were entirely selfish reasons and could not bear up under the admonitions of the Word. For every selfish and frankly, fearful, thought we spoke, we had to recognize that it was not in keeping with His Word…

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden in light.” Mt 11:28-30

“If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” Mt 16:24-25

“For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me…Mt 25:35-36a “Truly I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.” Mt 25:40b

“But be doers of the Word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves” James 1:22

“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” James 1:27

“For God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even the things that are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God.” I Corinth 1:27-29
And on and on we could list them…

The fact of the matter was that if they brought this boy to our apartment door and said, “he has no family yet, would you open your hearts and receive him?” We would. No question. We also felt strongly that if we were not at least willing to put it back in His hands, to test and see if this was what He was calling us to do…that we would never feel “released” and wonder if we’d disobeyed.

Daddy got up after our discussion, as we needed to get everyone off to school, and as he walked into our kitchen, he said that he understood the words spoken into his heart, “you’re in the right place at the right time.” Since such occurrences have rarely happened to Daddy…he was quite literally astounded…and confident that no matter how unusual, he was certain that God had spoken to him.

So with that, Daddy and I reasoned that we would step forward to bring this boy home…fully aware that there were at least two miracles that were required before this young man could become a H man. The first miracle was that we certainly had no more money for adoptive fees. We wondered that since the agency was eager to place him, if they would, as an act of mercy, waive their fees for his adoption. (This is somewhat of an insane proposition.)

The second miracle involved the approval of our host country. We had three major problems with securing an approval to adopt this little guy. The “rules” say that only one child can be adopted at a time when not related by blood. Furthermore, we already fell short on the requirements of our income and our family size exceeded their regulations.

The next day we notified the agency that we would step forward to adopt him…and would they consider waiving their fees?

Their answer?…”we can help you."

But a problem had developed. In just the night prior, without any warning, the little guy’s file had been removed from the agency’s list and pulled back to the host country.

Somewhat relieved, we thought, “aha, a closed door…he wasn’t meant to be ours!”

However that morning, through a time of study and prayer, we believed that He was telling us to press on. That as imitators of our Good Shepherd, we were to search for the lost sheep so that like him, when he found it, rejoice over it more than the 99 who didn’t go astray. (Mt. 18:10-14)

A call was made on our behalf to the host country asking for the file to be returned.

The request was denied.

But a promise was given that if we waited until a new “shared list” was published, that he would be on that list and THEN we could petition to adopt him.

The days turned to weeks as we waited. Each day we would ask Him again…”do you want us to adopt this little one?” And over and over and over again we would find our answer through the Word…”yes.”

Even a reminder was given to us about the story in I Samuel 9 about David seeking Jonathon’s lame son, Mephibosheth. And that like David we should continue pressing on after this boy to “show the kindness of God to him.”

Finally the day arrived for the release of the new “list.” Our cell phone rang with the news at 9:30 am that the little guy’s file was NOT on the list. Though we heard the news, in our hearts, we knew that something simply was not right.

Another call was made on our behalf inquiring after this boy’s file.

The answer came back to us that his file had been “lost” between two computer systems in the host country’s adoption center. We wondered how long it would have taken to “find” him again if we hadn’t been seeking him…? There are over 1800 children on the list…if one goes missing…who will notice?

With the finding of his file we submitted a “letter of intent” indicating our desire to add this little one to our brood and why we believed that we could provide a good home for him. Furthermore, why they should “waive” the three “regulations” and approve us as a placement for him.

It was supposed to take no more than 2 weeks for an answer.

Two weeks became three but we received daily encouragement that He was “doing it”…that we needed to believe and that He was going to accomplish this.

During those weeks of waiting we needed to move on with applying for additional immigration approvals…expending a considerable amounts of money and time to move forward in faith, behaving as if the second miracle (of the host country’s approval) was already a done deal.

Finally at 11:30 pm our time our cell phone woke us from a deep sleep last Wednesday evening.

The approval was granted. The second miracle performed.

A marvelous thing has happened over all these weeks that we've waited to see if indeed we were expecting twins...our initial fear and selfishness was changed to enthusiasm and longing to bring him home. We rejoiced at the news that God really is doing this and that we've been given another blessing. Truly, how could we be so favored by Him to parent another miracle?

Without further delay, we'd like to introduce you to.... Silas James....

Time is short. We've run into two major paperwork issues...and we need to bring both boys back to the US when we go home for furlough on July 1. We've written for various adoption grants to satisfy the costs of paperwork, orphanage donations, country fees, etc..we would certainly appreciate your prayers.

Thanks for reading the longest blog post we've ever written, but we want to give Him all the glory for what He is doing!

Thanks goodness He's not asked us to do something really crazy like...like...build an ark...yet. ;)