Shifting Sands

Growing up in the West, I have come to rely on the calendar, and the emphasis placed on "planning" nearly to a fault.

For instance, in the West, we cherish our calendars, and clocks for that matter.  We get beautifully designed calendars (often giving them as gifts we prize them so highly), hang them in prominent places in our living/working spaces...and follow them closely.  This is not just to answer the occasional (if you're not a true calendar addict) "what day is it today?"  Many people, upon receiving the new calendar will carefully write down pertinent dates on it, birthdays and anniversaries...and as the year moves on, and one is connected to some societal system such as employment or school, other key dates are hastily marked out.  In the realm of employment, not many tarry to mark out the "Holidays" granted by the employer.  Most employers either issue you the list of recognized holidays (days with pay/without work), or give you the number of days for holiday each year.

When you are attached to a school, the school calendar for an entire semester is published months BEFORE school starts in August/September, and again for the Spring Semester...so that families can PLAN.  (Some schools in the West are ambitious enough to publish the entire calendar, for the school year, before school begins.)   The only thing that changes, typically, is if there are closures due to inclement weather.  Otherwise families would not know how to structure their lives around the calendar.

As we were homeschoolers for several years, we certainly enjoyed the exceptions to that in that we structured our calendar to fit our needs...but we still had a PLAN!

Time is another matter that in quite rigid in the West.  When I invite you to dinner at 6PM, when should you arrive?  Perhaps a few minutes before 6, right?  Or certainly no later than 15 minutes past 6.  How else can I prepare a dinner for you and maintain some quality control?! 

If I have a doctors appointment at 9AM...I am to arrive a few minutes EARLY...or risk losing my opportunity to see the doctor at all.

Probably one of the most significant cultural issues that we bump up against...that causes real stress and struggle...is this matter of calendars and time.

Here, a calendar does help you mark time.  Obviously, December 9th is December 9th (unless you are following the lunar calendar, which many of my colleagues and students also follow thus giving them TWO birthdays each year that we recognize...but this is another post entirely), but today is December 9th and tomorrow December 10th on the solar calendar, these matters don't change.

But PLANNING on your calendar...impossible.  The entire nation functions with an entirely fluid calendar.  Usually big events, particularly the Chinese Traditional Holidays, equivalent to the dates issued for Federal Holidays observed in the US, is issued sometime in the year and from that the businesses and schools form their calendars.   But as these dates were originally observed on the Lunar calendar, each year they are translated onto the solar calendar and so the "dates" change each year.  Chinese New Year's date swing on a pendulum that is very broad, 2-3 weeks difference from one year to the next for instance.  We do observe the "Tomb Sweeping Holiday" on the date issued by the government for instance, but many businesses and especially schools usually try to attach a few more days to the national holiday so that their employees/students can visit family that is often far away.   This results in the strange assortments of working days/days off like for our October holiday (see September posts where I detail that last holiday) working Sundays, then 6 days in a row, and other such gymnastics that turn my Western brain inside-out.

Then "published" calendars by schools ( as in our case) are given out before the semester begins...but are not fixed.  Three years in a row now, the calendar we've been given has changed, mid-semester, multiple times.  The only item that remains unchanged is that school starts on September 1, each year.  Otherwise, the dates marked on the calendar for holidays...not to be counted on.  The dates given for the end date of school, the dates of final exams, etc...totally changeable.  This is not in the case of inclement weather (as is often the case in the US)...but in general...these dates are subject to change, sometimes multiple times, in the school year.

Three years in a row now we've been "bitten" by the changeable calendar.

We see the dates for our major holiday Chinese Spring Festival, for instance, change each year.  The calendar may say we are out from January 25-February 16...when we start school in September.  But, as we get closer (and I mean really close...within 6-8 weeks of the date...the dates will change.)  The first year, the starting date was earlier, and so we sat around for 4 days with nothing to do for our break, before we left for the retreat center...where we could have been for those "waiting" days if I'd only known the true date that break began.  As I have to make travel arrangements LONG in advance (given the size of our family),  6-8 weeks for a big change, has three times gotten me in a bad spot.

This year, the date for the beginning of break, and the resumption of classes has changed THREE times!  We're again in a spot as I had booked our tickets a month ago (when I could get dirt cheap fares), but on Monday this week, we found out that we'll once again be waiting around for 5 days before our departure date as school will end 12 days earlier than the calendar states (with 5 days of teacher in-service)...and will begin 7 days EARLIER than was published on the calendar.  The result?  We will be at the retreat center, for the firsts 3 days of the second semester. 

The request was made..."Can you please come back earlier?"  Trying to appear nonchalant about the request I said I'd check, and such inquires revealed that it would cost more than the original tickets PLUS the accommodation at the retreat center to do such a thing!  It would mean no trip at all as we could never come near affording it!

So the headmaster has said she will make arrangements for it and we're clear to travel as planned.  But I fear that the overall appearance to our colleagues, who don't understand why we must book our travel so far in advance and why we are so gullible in "trusting" the dates on a published calendar, is that we're cavalier about our work and commitments.  It is so frustrating!

Time is another matter, too.  In the work world, time is very important.  Tardiness is another mortal sin. 

In one's private time, say when coming to another's home for dinner or meeting at a restaurant, it is perfectly acceptable to arrive 1 hour PAST the invitation time.  For this Western-bred girl...trying to keep dinner warm for one extra hour...is tough!

When living cross-culturally, fatigue sets in a times when nothing can be predicted. A simple shopping trip out can yield a variety of variables that completely sets you off your game.  Certainly these things can also happen in my home culture (although I have command of language and culture to negotiate unexpected challenges on a shopping trip.)  But somehow my previous confidence in the calendar...and the clock...gives a sense of "order" to life, for me at least.

It is like constantly living in shifting sands.  Nothing is fixed.  While I try to establish some order, carry out some sort of plan for something as simple as my daily life to something as major as our annual retreat center visit...changes are the norm...no plans can be settled upon.

This remains one of the hardest things about living Here for me.

Oh...yes, I've just recalled the most difficult aspect of living here...it is a seasonal thing...

The freezing cold toilet seats in the school, with open windows at one's back, to facilitate the frigid breeze from blowing over one's exposed skin...that is the WORST!