Just a quick note to celebrate that our computer has finally been fixed and now I have regained normal access to the blog. I hope to write more soon...but, my immediate need is to let you readers know that we are actively seeking some new teachers for the 2012-2013 school year.
The opportunities exist in both the Kindergarten and the Primary School. I am eagerly awaiting any interested parties to email me with any questions to the email at the right on the blog!
Imagine yourself, living Here with us! (Okay, you don't have to live WITH us, but, just nearby?)
We're delighted to field any questions!
Come teach with us!
05 December 2011
29 November 2011
Computer Failure...and update
At the end of October, Magpie was enjoying checking her personal email on my laptop. Apparently, something caused her to rise suddenly to depart from the desk and her foot caught in the cords and the laptop (new in January) went flying/crashing to the ground. It was evident immediately that the LED was cracked and the computer is not usable until we can get funds together to replace the screen.
That computer has our special "access" and connection to the web that allows us to write this blog. Without it, we cannot access the blog on any other internet computer. Today, I prevailed upon some teammates to allow me to use their personal laptop that also has the special access ability...so that I could simply report that we are still alive!
Now and update, in a flash:
1) The last weekend of October, we celebrated four birthdays (Magpie's 12th, The Singer's & The Bruiser's 4ths, and our soon-coming 5th son's 5th birthday.) Four cakes in 7 days...intense.
2) Our English department took 19 students this year to the City-wide English competition. (Our first year I think we took 5)...and this year, ALL of our groups took top honors and have advanced into the finals, to be held on December 10th. If they win on Dec 10th again, we'll be invited to the Nationals in Beijing to compete in February.
3) QQ had his surgery on Nov. 5th! He is back home in his province and we are overjoyed! Now his lip and palate are closed and he can go on with a normal life in his family! Praises!
4) We baked 600 oatmeal raisin cookies (thanks to a fabulous recipe from Eva G. back at GNF)...for a fundraiser and street fair held in our apartment complex. We sold out entirely and are using the money as seed to buy a series of gifts for children who live in the local orphanage and in foster homes. Our students will use this money (adding to it some other money I'll tell you about soon) and will themselves buy the gifts for the kids!
5) We hosted a Harvest Party for the school complete with trick-or-treating in our "crazy hats." The whole school participated as we played games led by our teammate Mr V and Daddy, a lesson on harvest festivals by Mr. S, Snacks served up by myself, and a craft overseen by Mrs. V. (Pictures of our beloved new teammates coming soon to the blog!)
6) A co-worker "entered" our family into a national competition here that was gathering personal stories that "move" others. Our co-worker entered us, without out knowledge and confessed it all the day before a TV crew showed up to interview us about our family. Then a few days later the first TV spot about us aired...and it would seem that it began an avalanche of media interest in our family. It has been overwhelming these past 10 days as we have been interviewed by 4 TV stations, had 5 newspaper articles published about us, a "broadcast" of our story on the national social media source here called Q Q, and a radio interview later today. We have spent well over 25 hours in interviews and photo shoots since the first show came to the school to interview us. We have no idea when it will end, but we need your prayer to support us for protection and stamina.
7) We received some local gov officials here who represent people with special needs here in our city. They brought us a cash gift meant to express their appreciation for our story in the local papers. We're so excited because we are adding that money to the school's project to buy things for the orphanage and foster kids mentioned before.
8) We have a school-wide English competition to be held on December 22 that we must ensure ALL of our students can perform various songs and dialogues in English for their parents.
9) Today we were told that I would be singing an aria from the opera Carmen with a colleague, while Daddy dances with the Principal of our school, in the company of ALL the other teachers, also paired up to dance around the two singers...all this before the company's Chinese new Year party on January 6th...about 1500 people will be there...and yes...full costume and make-up. You just cannot take yourself seriously here...
9) Today I was asked to perform on Friday, another solo, for our school-wide talent show. No idea what to do for that yet...but it is only Tuesday...
10) Oh, we also had parent's day at our school. last week (simultaneously with the news interview period of time)...standing for comments and suggestions from the highly involved and interested local parents...just after we administered our Mid-term exams. (All our students did well.)
11) We served 33 lbs of turkey on Saturday cooked in our two over-sized toaster ovens...with all the other good stuff that goes with it...thanks to Mrs. S and Mrs. V who brought many key ingredients into the feast.
12) We have put up our Christmas tree...and have exchanged names with the children to determine who will give a gift to whom in just 26 days.
13) We are involved in a huge row over some adptn paperwork that involved what we believe to be highly unethical behavior on the part of one group stateside (not our agncy)...that has led us to talk with the top officials in BJ here and soon with gov't parties There, too....
14) This Saturday Daddy and I are compelled to attend the "teacher's field trip" to Mu lan mountain (about a 12 hour day). We will climb the mountain...unfortunately, the field trip is a little late this year, so we're expecting temps in the 40's as the highs on that day...
15) By His grace, no absenteeism yet this year...we've made it to school/work everyday.
Sorry for the bullet-point info...but time is short and I must get to some other responsibilities now...
Happy Thanksgiving to each of you! We praise Him for all of those who care for us and read about our crazy life here!
That computer has our special "access" and connection to the web that allows us to write this blog. Without it, we cannot access the blog on any other internet computer. Today, I prevailed upon some teammates to allow me to use their personal laptop that also has the special access ability...so that I could simply report that we are still alive!
Now and update, in a flash:
1) The last weekend of October, we celebrated four birthdays (Magpie's 12th, The Singer's & The Bruiser's 4ths, and our soon-coming 5th son's 5th birthday.) Four cakes in 7 days...intense.
2) Our English department took 19 students this year to the City-wide English competition. (Our first year I think we took 5)...and this year, ALL of our groups took top honors and have advanced into the finals, to be held on December 10th. If they win on Dec 10th again, we'll be invited to the Nationals in Beijing to compete in February.
3) QQ had his surgery on Nov. 5th! He is back home in his province and we are overjoyed! Now his lip and palate are closed and he can go on with a normal life in his family! Praises!
4) We baked 600 oatmeal raisin cookies (thanks to a fabulous recipe from Eva G. back at GNF)...for a fundraiser and street fair held in our apartment complex. We sold out entirely and are using the money as seed to buy a series of gifts for children who live in the local orphanage and in foster homes. Our students will use this money (adding to it some other money I'll tell you about soon) and will themselves buy the gifts for the kids!
5) We hosted a Harvest Party for the school complete with trick-or-treating in our "crazy hats." The whole school participated as we played games led by our teammate Mr V and Daddy, a lesson on harvest festivals by Mr. S, Snacks served up by myself, and a craft overseen by Mrs. V. (Pictures of our beloved new teammates coming soon to the blog!)
6) A co-worker "entered" our family into a national competition here that was gathering personal stories that "move" others. Our co-worker entered us, without out knowledge and confessed it all the day before a TV crew showed up to interview us about our family. Then a few days later the first TV spot about us aired...and it would seem that it began an avalanche of media interest in our family. It has been overwhelming these past 10 days as we have been interviewed by 4 TV stations, had 5 newspaper articles published about us, a "broadcast" of our story on the national social media source here called Q Q, and a radio interview later today. We have spent well over 25 hours in interviews and photo shoots since the first show came to the school to interview us. We have no idea when it will end, but we need your prayer to support us for protection and stamina.
7) We received some local gov officials here who represent people with special needs here in our city. They brought us a cash gift meant to express their appreciation for our story in the local papers. We're so excited because we are adding that money to the school's project to buy things for the orphanage and foster kids mentioned before.
8) We have a school-wide English competition to be held on December 22 that we must ensure ALL of our students can perform various songs and dialogues in English for their parents.
9) Today we were told that I would be singing an aria from the opera Carmen with a colleague, while Daddy dances with the Principal of our school, in the company of ALL the other teachers, also paired up to dance around the two singers...all this before the company's Chinese new Year party on January 6th...about 1500 people will be there...and yes...full costume and make-up. You just cannot take yourself seriously here...
9) Today I was asked to perform on Friday, another solo, for our school-wide talent show. No idea what to do for that yet...but it is only Tuesday...
10) Oh, we also had parent's day at our school. last week (simultaneously with the news interview period of time)...standing for comments and suggestions from the highly involved and interested local parents...just after we administered our Mid-term exams. (All our students did well.)
11) We served 33 lbs of turkey on Saturday cooked in our two over-sized toaster ovens...with all the other good stuff that goes with it...thanks to Mrs. S and Mrs. V who brought many key ingredients into the feast.
12) We have put up our Christmas tree...and have exchanged names with the children to determine who will give a gift to whom in just 26 days.
13) We are involved in a huge row over some adptn paperwork that involved what we believe to be highly unethical behavior on the part of one group stateside (not our agncy)...that has led us to talk with the top officials in BJ here and soon with gov't parties There, too....
14) This Saturday Daddy and I are compelled to attend the "teacher's field trip" to Mu lan mountain (about a 12 hour day). We will climb the mountain...unfortunately, the field trip is a little late this year, so we're expecting temps in the 40's as the highs on that day...
15) By His grace, no absenteeism yet this year...we've made it to school/work everyday.
Sorry for the bullet-point info...but time is short and I must get to some other responsibilities now...
Happy Thanksgiving to each of you! We praise Him for all of those who care for us and read about our crazy life here!
12 October 2011
Student's thoughts...
This week the curriculum I'm teaching has a unit on America. (This is largely due to the fact that it is an American curriculum.)
I spent my first day back in the classroom showing a slideshow of some of the things I did while back There over the summer. The kids really loved it. Then, they did a writing assignment on "Where did Mrs. H go this summer?" I was so surprised by their enthusiasm.
The next day, for my oral warm-up, I asked the kids a suggested question from the text: "Why do you think many people move to America?" They are mostly 3-6th graders in my class, but I expected we'd have a brief warm up as I thought they would not have much context for the question.
I divided them up into pairs and then had each pair give me two answers. I was amazed that out of 14 students, only two gave me the same answer. I took a picture of their answers from the board as I thought you might find it interesting to see what my Elementary students think about why America would be a desirable place to live. From the Middle Kingdom...to your eyes...
This took the whole class period as they continued to come up with more and more reasons not listed here. It was so fun and I was delighted at how far their oral English has come...but you just have to ask the right questions...
I spent my first day back in the classroom showing a slideshow of some of the things I did while back There over the summer. The kids really loved it. Then, they did a writing assignment on "Where did Mrs. H go this summer?" I was so surprised by their enthusiasm.
The next day, for my oral warm-up, I asked the kids a suggested question from the text: "Why do you think many people move to America?" They are mostly 3-6th graders in my class, but I expected we'd have a brief warm up as I thought they would not have much context for the question.
I divided them up into pairs and then had each pair give me two answers. I was amazed that out of 14 students, only two gave me the same answer. I took a picture of their answers from the board as I thought you might find it interesting to see what my Elementary students think about why America would be a desirable place to live. From the Middle Kingdom...to your eyes...
09 October 2011
Building "Community"
This concept appears to be the theme of our first days back at school. Finally, my long leave has concluded and yesterday (on Saturday) and today (Sunday) we've returned to teaching. It is one of those unusual things for foreigners...7 day holiday (no school)...BUT, NOT SO FAST, you have to "make up" two of those days by working a weekend (thus making a 7 day work week.)
Sometimes we wonder "why" we are Here. What "good" could we possibly be contributing to? We are just a large family, taking up space, in the Middle Kingdom. We're growing larger (not just the hips are being referred to here), but we are growing in all ways (number of children, size of children, space we fill up.) Not long after we came Here we began to see, and frankly, to hope, that our enormous presence and the make up of our brood might contribute to some softening of hearts...specifically towards those born with special needs Here.
Our Father is SO MERCIFUL and gracious to us.
The evidence of that mercy and grace was so evident, just yesterday.
Our dear principal, with whom we have worked for all the time we've been Here, came to my desk to tell me that there was a new student in the first grade. She asked us to give him a placement test for his English and that he was "trying out the school for 2 weeks." Of course, I said we'd take care of it later in the day.
After first period, one of our new teachers, Mrs. V, came excitedly to my desk to tell me that the new student, was a local boy, born without his left hand. She was excited because I had recently shared with our new teammates (Mr & Mrs. S and Mr & Mrs V) that we've been delighted (and so encouraged) that this year the school has admitted two other new students who were born with special needs. A fourth-grader who is hearing impaired and a first grader who has autism. I cannot emphasize enough that this is such a break from the norm Here. Quite literally, if you have a child born with special needs, it would be COMMON that the child be kept at home, instead of attending school. I am unsure if the public school "must" accept those students, but I know for certain that private schools CAN and DO routinely refuse to admit students with any special needs. As advocates for kids born with special needs, we were thrilled to see our school taking a counter-culture position by already admitting two students with special needs.
Later I heard more of the story from our Principal. She told me that the new boy's (who has a single hand) family was heartbroken when they came to us because other schools had denied him admission due to his special need. Please understand, this is a bright, fully functional kid who just happens to have only a single hand. They asked our school to accept him.
Our Principal consulted with some of the higher-ups in our school's organization and the higher-ups likewise refused the boy's admission. However, our Principal took a contrary stand. She insisted that in keeping with the core values of our school (and the character education plan that is headed up by our own dear Daddy and my husband) that we want to be a place of "community" and welcome. That the world is made up of people who are DIFFERENT and that this is GOOD. (Yes, I am shouting those words!) She said that our school has a 'warm heart' and that we would do what we could to accept the boy.
In truth, I have not really processed the magnitude of this decision on her part. She has likely laid her position on the line, but she was so excited to tell me about it yesterday. As we have known her the entire time of our living Here, I can tell you with assurance that this represents a major change in her thinking! She too would have, for most of the past 3 + years, agreed with the higher-ups about becoming known as a school that has 'those kind' of students. (THOSE KIND OF AWESOME, DELIGHTFUL, CREATED FOR A PURPOSE, SUPER-POWERED STUDENTS!) In fact, during our last adoptions, this dear Principal friend of ours did what she could to dissuade us from adopting any more 'special needs'. Looking at photos of children born with special needs that we sometimes are in contact with would cause her to look away with discomfort.
Yet somehow, living Here together, seeing our family with kids of various special needs, a barrier has been broken down in her thinking and she SEES that the beauty of our world can be appreciated in differences!
Please know, I fully understand that it is a combination of factors that has led her to this place far beyond us or our presence! But I am thankful that perhaps we've been able to be a part of this heart change in her. How wonderful it is to see up close that her heart is softening...and as she told us last year that though she doesn't fully understand about 'our Jesus', she does understand the love that she sees.
As for me...this was like water for my thirsty soul.
Sometimes we wonder "why" we are Here. What "good" could we possibly be contributing to? We are just a large family, taking up space, in the Middle Kingdom. We're growing larger (not just the hips are being referred to here), but we are growing in all ways (number of children, size of children, space we fill up.) Not long after we came Here we began to see, and frankly, to hope, that our enormous presence and the make up of our brood might contribute to some softening of hearts...specifically towards those born with special needs Here.
Our Father is SO MERCIFUL and gracious to us.
The evidence of that mercy and grace was so evident, just yesterday.
Our dear principal, with whom we have worked for all the time we've been Here, came to my desk to tell me that there was a new student in the first grade. She asked us to give him a placement test for his English and that he was "trying out the school for 2 weeks." Of course, I said we'd take care of it later in the day.
After first period, one of our new teachers, Mrs. V, came excitedly to my desk to tell me that the new student, was a local boy, born without his left hand. She was excited because I had recently shared with our new teammates (Mr & Mrs. S and Mr & Mrs V) that we've been delighted (and so encouraged) that this year the school has admitted two other new students who were born with special needs. A fourth-grader who is hearing impaired and a first grader who has autism. I cannot emphasize enough that this is such a break from the norm Here. Quite literally, if you have a child born with special needs, it would be COMMON that the child be kept at home, instead of attending school. I am unsure if the public school "must" accept those students, but I know for certain that private schools CAN and DO routinely refuse to admit students with any special needs. As advocates for kids born with special needs, we were thrilled to see our school taking a counter-culture position by already admitting two students with special needs.
Later I heard more of the story from our Principal. She told me that the new boy's (who has a single hand) family was heartbroken when they came to us because other schools had denied him admission due to his special need. Please understand, this is a bright, fully functional kid who just happens to have only a single hand. They asked our school to accept him.
Our Principal consulted with some of the higher-ups in our school's organization and the higher-ups likewise refused the boy's admission. However, our Principal took a contrary stand. She insisted that in keeping with the core values of our school (and the character education plan that is headed up by our own dear Daddy and my husband) that we want to be a place of "community" and welcome. That the world is made up of people who are DIFFERENT and that this is GOOD. (Yes, I am shouting those words!) She said that our school has a 'warm heart' and that we would do what we could to accept the boy.
In truth, I have not really processed the magnitude of this decision on her part. She has likely laid her position on the line, but she was so excited to tell me about it yesterday. As we have known her the entire time of our living Here, I can tell you with assurance that this represents a major change in her thinking! She too would have, for most of the past 3 + years, agreed with the higher-ups about becoming known as a school that has 'those kind' of students. (THOSE KIND OF AWESOME, DELIGHTFUL, CREATED FOR A PURPOSE, SUPER-POWERED STUDENTS!) In fact, during our last adoptions, this dear Principal friend of ours did what she could to dissuade us from adopting any more 'special needs'. Looking at photos of children born with special needs that we sometimes are in contact with would cause her to look away with discomfort.
Yet somehow, living Here together, seeing our family with kids of various special needs, a barrier has been broken down in her thinking and she SEES that the beauty of our world can be appreciated in differences!
Please know, I fully understand that it is a combination of factors that has led her to this place far beyond us or our presence! But I am thankful that perhaps we've been able to be a part of this heart change in her. How wonderful it is to see up close that her heart is softening...and as she told us last year that though she doesn't fully understand about 'our Jesus', she does understand the love that she sees.
As for me...this was like water for my thirsty soul.
28 September 2011
Qian Qian - The Next Step
A quick post as I have no internet at home and have had to go to the school to get online.
In November we are hopeful that QQ will have gained enough weight to travel for surgery to close his palate. (If you are unfamiliar with Qian Qian's awesome story, start with the "Humanity"posts in October last year and then catch up with the labels "Qian Qian.")
The remote village where he lives is experiencing a horrible drought and the entire rice crop for this year was lost. For QQ's farming family of 2 parents, 4 children, and two grandparents, this is a life or death crisis. Please lift up his family and their whole village who is hearing for the first time about a new Hope they have never heard of before.
We have, through donations from readers here and our personal funds, been "sponsoring" QQ's food and medical care over the past 11 months. His next surgery is crucial and he is nearing the 2 year-old mark that Western doctors insist is a key point where speech will be affected if the palate is not closed by that time. We tried to have this surgery done in May of this year, but QQ was showing signs of malnourishment and the doctors refused him.
We have been working with a partner in his province who has now been, bi-weekly, taking food (milk powder, eggs, cereal) to QQ to ensure his weight gain. He is now at 10.5 kilograms. He MUST weigh at least 11 kgs by the November surgery date or he will be refused again. It would be best if he weighed 11.5-12 kgs so that his body would be strong for the healing that is necessary after such a significant surgery.
At any rate, he has been gaining (up 1.5 kgs in the past 3 months) and we are setting our sights on November.
I have posted a Chip-in again on the blog to raise the funds necessary to continue his support up to and for 1 month after surgery (as needed), his medical care, the travel required for the family to the surgery, and for lodging for the family in the distant city while he receives his surgery. If you are able to help us provide for QQ and his family in this matter, we would be grateful.
Please feel free to email us any inquires you might have about the situation.
In November we are hopeful that QQ will have gained enough weight to travel for surgery to close his palate. (If you are unfamiliar with Qian Qian's awesome story, start with the "Humanity"posts in October last year and then catch up with the labels "Qian Qian.")
The remote village where he lives is experiencing a horrible drought and the entire rice crop for this year was lost. For QQ's farming family of 2 parents, 4 children, and two grandparents, this is a life or death crisis. Please lift up his family and their whole village who is hearing for the first time about a new Hope they have never heard of before.
We have, through donations from readers here and our personal funds, been "sponsoring" QQ's food and medical care over the past 11 months. His next surgery is crucial and he is nearing the 2 year-old mark that Western doctors insist is a key point where speech will be affected if the palate is not closed by that time. We tried to have this surgery done in May of this year, but QQ was showing signs of malnourishment and the doctors refused him.
We have been working with a partner in his province who has now been, bi-weekly, taking food (milk powder, eggs, cereal) to QQ to ensure his weight gain. He is now at 10.5 kilograms. He MUST weigh at least 11 kgs by the November surgery date or he will be refused again. It would be best if he weighed 11.5-12 kgs so that his body would be strong for the healing that is necessary after such a significant surgery.
At any rate, he has been gaining (up 1.5 kgs in the past 3 months) and we are setting our sights on November.
I have posted a Chip-in again on the blog to raise the funds necessary to continue his support up to and for 1 month after surgery (as needed), his medical care, the travel required for the family to the surgery, and for lodging for the family in the distant city while he receives his surgery. If you are able to help us provide for QQ and his family in this matter, we would be grateful.
The above photo is of QQ and his older sister...
27 September 2011
Cat Drama
"Momma, Euphrates has been missing for two days!" said Magpie, nearly breathless with emotion on the eve of my return to the Middle Kingdom.
"Did you leave any doors open to the balconies? To the hallway?"
"No Momma, we are always so careful! But, today I saw that the screen had ripped away from the corner of the frame in the door!"
I assured her that perhaps he was just "hiding" somewhere in the house as the big tomcat sometimes likes to do.
When I arrived more than 24 hours later, he was still missing. Full of excitement to see the kids, organize the house, and prepare for the reunification events when Daddy returned from Beijing...I thought only a bit about poor, missing Euphrates. His mate, Tigris, meowed and continued to search the apartment for her love. (We got the kitties while we were doing a unit in World History on Mesopotamia, thus the names.)
Daddy and the kids had canvased the 12 stories of our apartment building, door to door, and had gone around the outside of the building looking for any sign of him in the days following his initial disappearance. But, he had, quite literally, vanished.
Just as I was posting my last post here, an excited Nai Nai (grandmother) in our building came to the door exclaiming that she thought she had seen our "big cat." She informed us that they had seen him outside and that he had crawled up into a tight spot in the building, but that one of his legs was definitely hurt.
With our fears confirmed that he had indeed fallen eight stories, we went down immediately to try to confirm that it was our cat.
He had crawled up into a cement housing where the huge industrial air conditioners are located on the building. He had gotten behind a slatted covering for the cement alcove and we could not see him. We heard him growling a bit and hurriedly opened a can of clams in an attempt to draw him out. He did not respond to the food.
Daddy was to return that afternoon from Beijing so here I was, all seven kids in the pajamas, outside at 7 am, trying to figure out how to get our injured cat out of his hiding place. The kids were alternating between excitement, fear, and tears as I tried to get them to settle down enough so that I could think.
Luckily, the slatted covering, while having some 25 holes where it should have been affixed to the building...only had 4 Phillips-head screws holding it in place. Unable to find a Phillips-head in the mayhem, I settled for a regular screwdriver that could manage about a half a turn of the screw before it would fall out (the head of screw was smaller than my screwdriver.)
By the time I got to the fourth screw, a crowd had gathered and one of my students brought me a proper Phillips-head which dispatched the remaining screw in record time.
As we drew nearer to the cat, I realized that it could be a scene of gore...or perhaps the cat was a great flight risk...and I could have 7 screaming kids to contend with as well. My cooler head prevailed and I sent two of the H Fam knocking on one of our new teammates' door. Mr. & Mrs. S, from our hometown, graciously answered the door and Mr. S hurriedly came to our aid. Upon moving the air conditioner slightly and he and I making a positive ID of the cat...our next concern was that his back was in fact, broken, as he was folded up in a very awkward position. Given that it was now the 5th day since he had gone missing, I assumed that we were in for a very sad day for the children.
Mr. S swooped in with a towel and brought out our half-dead cat into the light. We put him in a box and called our school bus driver and prevailed upon him to come pick us up so that we could take the cat to the vet.
With bizarre clothing selections, a pair of mismatched shoes, and un-brushed teeth, we loaded all the H family (minus the traveling Daddy) into the yellow school bus with our half-dead cat...and another student who lives in the apartments who could not resist the draw of being a part of our sideshow.
The vet clinic, ripe with the odor of urine and sickness, was just coming alive for the day. An enormous, I mean, ENORMOUS barking German Shepherd greeted us at the door. (I am certain that The Singer and The Bruiser were the perfect size for a scooby-snack for that beast.) The young "vet" (who probably went to a veterinary training program at a technical college of sorts) greeted us with his plan of action. X-rays first, then we would decide if there was anything that could be done for poor Euphrates.
When I touched that poor cat he felt like a hairy prune. There was absolutely no water left in that poor guy...5 days with no food or water had taken a terrible toll on him. I wanted them to give him an IV immediately, but no, the x-rays HAD to be done first. (Here, when you have any illness, even the common cold, you go to the hospital and EVERYONE gets an IV. The joke is that we foreigners are always trying to avoid the hospital because we KNOW that we will be given an IV for treatment. The irony of this event is that I actually was ASKING for an IV for Euphrates and couldn't get it!)
The x-rays revealed that there was a bad break in his left back leg. His back was spared any damage, but the vet said that the x-ray revealed an "enlarged heart." Hmmmmm....
I then had to sign a waiver that the IV might cause sudden death of the cat due to his enlarged heart...but I reasoned that given the 5 days no food or water and the glassy, unfocused stare of the poor guy...he was on his way out anyway...what did we have to lose?
The IV did not kill him.
Some 4 hours later, the cat showed interest in eating and drinking and so we gave him soft food and water that he lapped up vigorously.
The leg has still not been set. The thinking Here is that we need to get him "balanced" with his health before we cause him to endure the surgery to set the leg. Today is 7 days since the break. It doesn't really go with the Western medical thought I'm accustomed to...but then...I'm not in the West, am I?
Each day we must go to the hospital and pay for his daily IV, food, and Ibuprofen injection for the inflammation and pain (about $10 USD). His cage has no bedding (the thought Here is that it is better for him to sleep on the hard surface for his health) and he is next to a pig (that someone apparently decided that they don't want and the vet keeps asking ME TO TAKE HOME!)
We hope that surgery will be tomorrow. Then they may want to keep him in thetorture chamber pet hospital for 15 days. (I think I may assert my opinion at that point and bring him home to convalesce in a more comfortable surrounding.)
It is likely that he will never really be able to use that leg again. I can't imagine that with the break as bad as it is (involving a joint that punctured through the skin) that this vet will possess the skill to really "save" the use of the leg.
Daddy, when considering the situation and the cost to repair the cat (which by Western standards is really slight, but a great deal for our budget nonetheless) suggested that perhaps Euphrates just not come home. (His suggestion was really in jest as he would never dream of such a thing) But we both agreed that such a position is not really congruent with our family's position on those with special needs...so what...he'll only have three legs... he'll fit in better with our tribe anyway. (I am smiling as I type that.)
I promise to have some photos of the above drama posted here soon...I did get some taken on the student's phone who accompanied us to the vet hospital.
On a stroke of good favor...the vet clinic turned out to be next door to the glasses shop that we had to go to that day to replace Brownie's red glasses that were flushed down the toilet the night before...
Ah yes, life is finally getting back to normal...
"Did you leave any doors open to the balconies? To the hallway?"
"No Momma, we are always so careful! But, today I saw that the screen had ripped away from the corner of the frame in the door!"
I assured her that perhaps he was just "hiding" somewhere in the house as the big tomcat sometimes likes to do.
When I arrived more than 24 hours later, he was still missing. Full of excitement to see the kids, organize the house, and prepare for the reunification events when Daddy returned from Beijing...I thought only a bit about poor, missing Euphrates. His mate, Tigris, meowed and continued to search the apartment for her love. (We got the kitties while we were doing a unit in World History on Mesopotamia, thus the names.)
Daddy and the kids had canvased the 12 stories of our apartment building, door to door, and had gone around the outside of the building looking for any sign of him in the days following his initial disappearance. But, he had, quite literally, vanished.
Just as I was posting my last post here, an excited Nai Nai (grandmother) in our building came to the door exclaiming that she thought she had seen our "big cat." She informed us that they had seen him outside and that he had crawled up into a tight spot in the building, but that one of his legs was definitely hurt.
With our fears confirmed that he had indeed fallen eight stories, we went down immediately to try to confirm that it was our cat.
He had crawled up into a cement housing where the huge industrial air conditioners are located on the building. He had gotten behind a slatted covering for the cement alcove and we could not see him. We heard him growling a bit and hurriedly opened a can of clams in an attempt to draw him out. He did not respond to the food.
Daddy was to return that afternoon from Beijing so here I was, all seven kids in the pajamas, outside at 7 am, trying to figure out how to get our injured cat out of his hiding place. The kids were alternating between excitement, fear, and tears as I tried to get them to settle down enough so that I could think.
Luckily, the slatted covering, while having some 25 holes where it should have been affixed to the building...only had 4 Phillips-head screws holding it in place. Unable to find a Phillips-head in the mayhem, I settled for a regular screwdriver that could manage about a half a turn of the screw before it would fall out (the head of screw was smaller than my screwdriver.)
By the time I got to the fourth screw, a crowd had gathered and one of my students brought me a proper Phillips-head which dispatched the remaining screw in record time.
As we drew nearer to the cat, I realized that it could be a scene of gore...or perhaps the cat was a great flight risk...and I could have 7 screaming kids to contend with as well. My cooler head prevailed and I sent two of the H Fam knocking on one of our new teammates' door. Mr. & Mrs. S, from our hometown, graciously answered the door and Mr. S hurriedly came to our aid. Upon moving the air conditioner slightly and he and I making a positive ID of the cat...our next concern was that his back was in fact, broken, as he was folded up in a very awkward position. Given that it was now the 5th day since he had gone missing, I assumed that we were in for a very sad day for the children.
Mr. S swooped in with a towel and brought out our half-dead cat into the light. We put him in a box and called our school bus driver and prevailed upon him to come pick us up so that we could take the cat to the vet.
With bizarre clothing selections, a pair of mismatched shoes, and un-brushed teeth, we loaded all the H family (minus the traveling Daddy) into the yellow school bus with our half-dead cat...and another student who lives in the apartments who could not resist the draw of being a part of our sideshow.
The vet clinic, ripe with the odor of urine and sickness, was just coming alive for the day. An enormous, I mean, ENORMOUS barking German Shepherd greeted us at the door. (I am certain that The Singer and The Bruiser were the perfect size for a scooby-snack for that beast.) The young "vet" (who probably went to a veterinary training program at a technical college of sorts) greeted us with his plan of action. X-rays first, then we would decide if there was anything that could be done for poor Euphrates.
When I touched that poor cat he felt like a hairy prune. There was absolutely no water left in that poor guy...5 days with no food or water had taken a terrible toll on him. I wanted them to give him an IV immediately, but no, the x-rays HAD to be done first. (Here, when you have any illness, even the common cold, you go to the hospital and EVERYONE gets an IV. The joke is that we foreigners are always trying to avoid the hospital because we KNOW that we will be given an IV for treatment. The irony of this event is that I actually was ASKING for an IV for Euphrates and couldn't get it!)
The x-rays revealed that there was a bad break in his left back leg. His back was spared any damage, but the vet said that the x-ray revealed an "enlarged heart." Hmmmmm....
I then had to sign a waiver that the IV might cause sudden death of the cat due to his enlarged heart...but I reasoned that given the 5 days no food or water and the glassy, unfocused stare of the poor guy...he was on his way out anyway...what did we have to lose?
The IV did not kill him.
Some 4 hours later, the cat showed interest in eating and drinking and so we gave him soft food and water that he lapped up vigorously.
The leg has still not been set. The thinking Here is that we need to get him "balanced" with his health before we cause him to endure the surgery to set the leg. Today is 7 days since the break. It doesn't really go with the Western medical thought I'm accustomed to...but then...I'm not in the West, am I?
Each day we must go to the hospital and pay for his daily IV, food, and Ibuprofen injection for the inflammation and pain (about $10 USD). His cage has no bedding (the thought Here is that it is better for him to sleep on the hard surface for his health) and he is next to a pig (that someone apparently decided that they don't want and the vet keeps asking ME TO TAKE HOME!)
We hope that surgery will be tomorrow. Then they may want to keep him in the
It is likely that he will never really be able to use that leg again. I can't imagine that with the break as bad as it is (involving a joint that punctured through the skin) that this vet will possess the skill to really "save" the use of the leg.
Daddy, when considering the situation and the cost to repair the cat (which by Western standards is really slight, but a great deal for our budget nonetheless) suggested that perhaps Euphrates just not come home. (His suggestion was really in jest as he would never dream of such a thing) But we both agreed that such a position is not really congruent with our family's position on those with special needs...so what...he'll only have three legs... he'll fit in better with our tribe anyway. (I am smiling as I type that.)
I promise to have some photos of the above drama posted here soon...I did get some taken on the student's phone who accompanied us to the vet hospital.
On a stroke of good favor...the vet clinic turned out to be next door to the glasses shop that we had to go to that day to replace Brownie's red glasses that were flushed down the toilet the night before...
Ah yes, life is finally getting back to normal...
24 September 2011
At least it was a smooth landing...
After the trip I'd not like to repeat, full of the turbulence of emotions, sleep deprivation, and trying to reason with an unreasonable 3 year old Bruiser...our "Pilot" gave us a smooth landing at our home! All the prayer, definitely was realized as we have now been home for 2.5 days and have no residue of jet lag! We arrived the first night and hit the beds at 2 am...I awoke at 4 and started the day. Amazingly, while I am a strong believer in the "kicking jet lag rule" of NO SLEEP UNTIL BEDTIME ON THE FIRST DAY...the boys made it! Surely the excitement of being home helped, but I was astounded that it was not until 7 pm on that first day that they began to fall over while standing up. We were attending a birthday for one of our new teammates and just after they ate...they began to drop. We hurried home, got them (and me) into bed by 8 and we slept until 6:30 am the next morning! It is now the next morning and we repeated the same performance last night, in bed by 8 and up at 6:30! We will survive!
The ride home from the airport was a chatty one with our Uncle from our local family. I had the joy and privilege of sharing the whole glorious story of his son's amazing decision and transformation this summer that I was most blessed to witness! He was so moved by the retelling of it...and it was another unspeakable joy to carry the details of such news to this place.
I was also encouraged that after some 12 weeks, my Chinese came back when I returned! When I ordered food in Beijing for the boys I was delighted that I had no trouble understanding or being understood! I am ever so hopeful that this year my functional language will really blossom further into some more expressive language.
For those of you who saw me personally and heard of some trouble we were experiencing...another great Answer has been received...the Official matter including our most important documents has been resolved! The document was returned to Daddy just before he left to take Grandma D to Beijing (where he still is this am...yes, I have yet to see Daddy though at least we are now in the same country)! There is one more administrative process that will be handled over the next two weeks that will change our documents officially over to the appropriate status of our positions. We don't anticipate any hiccups with this now that the official matter has been closed, but, we would still ask for you to lift this up until all matters are concluded.
I visited the school on our first day home and was absolutely thrilled to be welcomed by our students with hugs and smiling faces! It was a wonderful, wonderful welcome and I was thankful for this place He's prepared for us to live. We have become in these three + years, truly, a part of our community.
Today I will head out with the 7 young in a move forced by the unintended flushing of Brownie's red glasses down the toilet! As she really cannot see well without them and as school is in session...we must rush out get a new exam and get some new glasses before Monday. (Amazingly possible here that you can often get glasses made the same day! Her last pair of glasses cost the equivalent of $20 USD!)
I need to rush off and keep organizing the unpacked items that threatened to overwhelm us just two days ago. (Our house looked like an advertisement for that "Hoarding show" on in the US that I was horrified to see this summer!) I know that all the items will disappear soon enough once our life resumes of weekly entertaining. I am determined to have the mega table cleared and covered with a table cloth before my beloved returns home tonight and we're reunited! (Now hearing strains from that 70s tune..."Reunited and it feels so good...")
We hope to have some news to share on the adoption front not long after our National Holiday here (October 1-7)...and my, do we have a story to tell there...but you'll have to keep hanging on for more later.
For those of you wondering...the "leaking substance" in the suitcase was NOT strawberry freezer jam (thanks to H & B's excellent packing and safeguarding of that nectar)...but in fact was the ONLY item that I didn't double/triple bag...some of the Bruiser's medicine left over from his surgery in August that I had just thrown in.
Must run, it is a day to celebrate!
The ride home from the airport was a chatty one with our Uncle from our local family. I had the joy and privilege of sharing the whole glorious story of his son's amazing decision and transformation this summer that I was most blessed to witness! He was so moved by the retelling of it...and it was another unspeakable joy to carry the details of such news to this place.
I was also encouraged that after some 12 weeks, my Chinese came back when I returned! When I ordered food in Beijing for the boys I was delighted that I had no trouble understanding or being understood! I am ever so hopeful that this year my functional language will really blossom further into some more expressive language.
For those of you who saw me personally and heard of some trouble we were experiencing...another great Answer has been received...the Official matter including our most important documents has been resolved! The document was returned to Daddy just before he left to take Grandma D to Beijing (where he still is this am...yes, I have yet to see Daddy though at least we are now in the same country)! There is one more administrative process that will be handled over the next two weeks that will change our documents officially over to the appropriate status of our positions. We don't anticipate any hiccups with this now that the official matter has been closed, but, we would still ask for you to lift this up until all matters are concluded.
I visited the school on our first day home and was absolutely thrilled to be welcomed by our students with hugs and smiling faces! It was a wonderful, wonderful welcome and I was thankful for this place He's prepared for us to live. We have become in these three + years, truly, a part of our community.
Today I will head out with the 7 young in a move forced by the unintended flushing of Brownie's red glasses down the toilet! As she really cannot see well without them and as school is in session...we must rush out get a new exam and get some new glasses before Monday. (Amazingly possible here that you can often get glasses made the same day! Her last pair of glasses cost the equivalent of $20 USD!)
I need to rush off and keep organizing the unpacked items that threatened to overwhelm us just two days ago. (Our house looked like an advertisement for that "Hoarding show" on in the US that I was horrified to see this summer!) I know that all the items will disappear soon enough once our life resumes of weekly entertaining. I am determined to have the mega table cleared and covered with a table cloth before my beloved returns home tonight and we're reunited! (Now hearing strains from that 70s tune..."Reunited and it feels so good...")
We hope to have some news to share on the adoption front not long after our National Holiday here (October 1-7)...and my, do we have a story to tell there...but you'll have to keep hanging on for more later.
For those of you wondering...the "leaking substance" in the suitcase was NOT strawberry freezer jam (thanks to H & B's excellent packing and safeguarding of that nectar)...but in fact was the ONLY item that I didn't double/triple bag...some of the Bruiser's medicine left over from his surgery in August that I had just thrown in.
Must run, it is a day to celebrate!
22 September 2011
Made it...
...just barely...
the flights and baggage situations were all good...real blessings in fact...as we had extra baggage allowance afforded us and help from folks here and there when we were giving out on this long journey home...
the boys brought new meaning to "weeping and gnashing of teeth"....
I felt the prayer support, most certainly, as I could have sat down and cried a dozen times.
All sons and bags arrived...only one bag leaking with as yet an unknown substance...
greeted by two gorgeous, sleeping daughters already...
bed is next, the TALE will be told later about the last 24 hours...
thanks for your PRAYERS!
the flights and baggage situations were all good...real blessings in fact...as we had extra baggage allowance afforded us and help from folks here and there when we were giving out on this long journey home...
the boys brought new meaning to "weeping and gnashing of teeth"....
I felt the prayer support, most certainly, as I could have sat down and cried a dozen times.
All sons and bags arrived...only one bag leaking with as yet an unknown substance...
greeted by two gorgeous, sleeping daughters already...
bed is next, the TALE will be told later about the last 24 hours...
thanks for your PRAYERS!
17 September 2011
Dancin' in the Streets
well, not really.
I don't allow him to dance in the streets...but The Bruiser is a mighty happy soul since Wednesday brought freedom from his leg cast! The trooper has worn a cast all summer (10 weeks) and on Wednesday when the tech cut off the cast The Bruiser commanded that he "throw that in the TRASH!"
We're amazed at the healing in his leg!
He now will use an orthotic brace for the next several months with the goal of weaning off of it after 3-6 months. We're praying now that the tendons in his feet will strengthen and help his foot remain flat to the ground (instead of rolled up onto the side and his tippy toes) thus avoiding more surgery next summer.
As the reason we remained stateside while all the other family is back home in the Middle Kingdom is now removed...we are profoundly homesick at this point. The boys are as friable as I've ever seen them. The slightest issue dissolves them into tears (or violence against their brother-man.) And I am, well, I am a jumble of nervous energy, emotion, and angst. (Note to all of you...if you see us coming down the road...best to just avoid us and let us pass on by!)
We're excited for a huge happening coming this Sunday morning as we'll celebrate one from our "local family" in the Middle Kingdom as he participates in the symbolic rite of dying to his past and being raised anew. (I'll be the one hollering with joy!) Sunday evening will bring a chance to visit with friends at a potluck to share some crazy stories of life in the Middle Kingdom. (If you're reading this and you'd like to come, EMAIL ME, all are welcome.)
Monday will bring some shots for Bub (that ought to go really smoothly after the week we're having)...cramming suitcases full of things we've been accumulating...and praying for a "good weigh-in" at that airport counter on Tuesday (glad their not weighing ME in after 11 weeks in the States)!
We know that there might be amajor slight problem when we get to Beijing with the transfer of our baggage from the International flight (and international baggage allowance) to the domestic flight (and domestic baggage allowance)...please be lifting us up that we will find favor with the ticket counter gods service staff! In 6 years I've never had an issue with this...but apparently things do change (surprise, surprise) and I may have a run for my money (or at least people trying to demand that I pay for my luggage to fly the rest of the way home!) Never hoped before that I would appear overwhelmed and desperate enough with only 3 children in tow that someone would have pity on me!
Going to post a few cherished photos from our summer visit with ALL our kids! We had 2 days with all 9+1 (our dear daughter-in-law) and got a few photos that we'll cherish forever! The visit brought even more phenomenal news to us...that the Rockstar and his Princess will soon be making us GRANDPARENTS! In January we expect to behold the beautiful sight of Malachi! Wow! Now that is joyful anticipation!
Must run and try to cross some more t's and dot some more i's...
I don't allow him to dance in the streets...but The Bruiser is a mighty happy soul since Wednesday brought freedom from his leg cast! The trooper has worn a cast all summer (10 weeks) and on Wednesday when the tech cut off the cast The Bruiser commanded that he "throw that in the TRASH!"
We're amazed at the healing in his leg!
He now will use an orthotic brace for the next several months with the goal of weaning off of it after 3-6 months. We're praying now that the tendons in his feet will strengthen and help his foot remain flat to the ground (instead of rolled up onto the side and his tippy toes) thus avoiding more surgery next summer.
As the reason we remained stateside while all the other family is back home in the Middle Kingdom is now removed...we are profoundly homesick at this point. The boys are as friable as I've ever seen them. The slightest issue dissolves them into tears (or violence against their brother-man.) And I am, well, I am a jumble of nervous energy, emotion, and angst. (Note to all of you...if you see us coming down the road...best to just avoid us and let us pass on by!)
We're excited for a huge happening coming this Sunday morning as we'll celebrate one from our "local family" in the Middle Kingdom as he participates in the symbolic rite of dying to his past and being raised anew. (I'll be the one hollering with joy!) Sunday evening will bring a chance to visit with friends at a potluck to share some crazy stories of life in the Middle Kingdom. (If you're reading this and you'd like to come, EMAIL ME, all are welcome.)
Monday will bring some shots for Bub (that ought to go really smoothly after the week we're having)...cramming suitcases full of things we've been accumulating...and praying for a "good weigh-in" at that airport counter on Tuesday (glad their not weighing ME in after 11 weeks in the States)!
We know that there might be a
Going to post a few cherished photos from our summer visit with ALL our kids! We had 2 days with all 9+1 (our dear daughter-in-law) and got a few photos that we'll cherish forever! The visit brought even more phenomenal news to us...that the Rockstar and his Princess will soon be making us GRANDPARENTS! In January we expect to behold the beautiful sight of Malachi! Wow! Now that is joyful anticipation!
Must run and try to cross some more t's and dot some more i's...
The H Family, July 2011
13 September 2011
Email - Reminder
Forgot to mention in my last post...
If you want to be notified, via email, when I've updated the blog...please enter your email address on the upper right of the blog. There are several folks who are using this little feature and they have told me that it is an easy way to stay up to date.
Grace and peace.
If you want to be notified, via email, when I've updated the blog...please enter your email address on the upper right of the blog. There are several folks who are using this little feature and they have told me that it is an easy way to stay up to date.
Grace and peace.
Rocking Middle America....alone
Well this is a change in my day to day existence...
No kids traveling with me as the boys stayed behind (thanks to Gramma and P.) It is positively weird not to have to tend to something for someone else.
I am currently seated in the Kansas City airport awaiting my flight back to the West Coast. I flew over here two days ago to visit my dear Sister and Brother-in-law, their kids, and their Sunday group. It was an awesome Sunday! I had the joy of telling the stories of lives in the Middle Kingdom, stories of His awesome power, and of our hopes for the days to come.
My Bro-in-Law "taught" an incredible lesson of why bad things happen...to display His "works through 'our' lives." I was so, so pleased to hear such an inspired teaching. Too often I hear the teaching that we need to pray more to be rescued from the troubles of this world, I've even heard Leaders teaching that they are frustrated with Him for not "fixing" the state of things...but these matters happen so that His work can be displayed...through the Body! These troubles display a need that His Body is supposed to be addressing...not sitting back waiting for Him to take the troubles away! I was so refreshed by this solid teaching yesterday and I was reminded that it is the meeting of troubles head on, working to alleviate suffering, promote justice, and giving grace that is His answer to the world's question of "why?"
I had nearly 48 hours to talk and talk and talk with my sister, too. She is so precious to me. We spurred each other on in our various "fields of harvest," she in middle America, me in the Middle Kingdom. This time of being separated from Daddy and the girls has been so difficult, yet, I see how every bit of the time is being used for great purpose. As I talked through the matters of life and the Kingdom with my sister, it became more and more clear how He has been revealing Himself to me. It truth, it has been a rich time for me to listen.
I'm ready to be home, my family all together again. The year ahead, I believe, will be a very challenging one. Already Daddy has experienced many difficulties, many more than in our first three years...but with those struggles...some fruit is ripening. We are thankful for the encouragements we see.
Wednesday we will celebrate the removal of The Bruiser's cast. Daddy and the girls will be savoring the final days of Grandma D's visit with them.
I am thankful that no matter where I am, no matter where I go, He is with me. My visit here this weekend reminded me of how joyful it is to be with others who share the same light and love.
The needs are great. The fields are ripe. There is much work to do. Let the Body arise and do what she was made to do in this place and all over the world!
No kids traveling with me as the boys stayed behind (thanks to Gramma and P.) It is positively weird not to have to tend to something for someone else.
I am currently seated in the Kansas City airport awaiting my flight back to the West Coast. I flew over here two days ago to visit my dear Sister and Brother-in-law, their kids, and their Sunday group. It was an awesome Sunday! I had the joy of telling the stories of lives in the Middle Kingdom, stories of His awesome power, and of our hopes for the days to come.
My Bro-in-Law "taught" an incredible lesson of why bad things happen...to display His "works through 'our' lives." I was so, so pleased to hear such an inspired teaching. Too often I hear the teaching that we need to pray more to be rescued from the troubles of this world, I've even heard Leaders teaching that they are frustrated with Him for not "fixing" the state of things...but these matters happen so that His work can be displayed...through the Body! These troubles display a need that His Body is supposed to be addressing...not sitting back waiting for Him to take the troubles away! I was so refreshed by this solid teaching yesterday and I was reminded that it is the meeting of troubles head on, working to alleviate suffering, promote justice, and giving grace that is His answer to the world's question of "why?"
I had nearly 48 hours to talk and talk and talk with my sister, too. She is so precious to me. We spurred each other on in our various "fields of harvest," she in middle America, me in the Middle Kingdom. This time of being separated from Daddy and the girls has been so difficult, yet, I see how every bit of the time is being used for great purpose. As I talked through the matters of life and the Kingdom with my sister, it became more and more clear how He has been revealing Himself to me. It truth, it has been a rich time for me to listen.
I'm ready to be home, my family all together again. The year ahead, I believe, will be a very challenging one. Already Daddy has experienced many difficulties, many more than in our first three years...but with those struggles...some fruit is ripening. We are thankful for the encouragements we see.
Wednesday we will celebrate the removal of The Bruiser's cast. Daddy and the girls will be savoring the final days of Grandma D's visit with them.
I am thankful that no matter where I am, no matter where I go, He is with me. My visit here this weekend reminded me of how joyful it is to be with others who share the same light and love.
The needs are great. The fields are ripe. There is much work to do. Let the Body arise and do what she was made to do in this place and all over the world!
08 September 2011
Celebrate...and Wait
Received wonderful news today from our agency that the next step in our paperwork to bring Nehemiah home is complete! Ordinarily we would now be rushing to do the last step paperwork on the US side...but...we've got to wait for another answer regarding a significant development. Until we have that answer and I can share fully here what that development is...we have to wait.
So much of this adoption has been about learning to WAIT on Him. I can see just a few glimpses of "why" we've had to wait...and I am excited to see what He will bring about next. It is good for me to be reminded that all things are under His control and that every matter, for His purposes, is within His grasp. This is where I find rest.
Nehemiah turns five next month. I so hope he will be with his forever family to celebrate that day as he's been without his family for the last four. But, all things in His time.
The boys and I are so homesick. Though the time has been swift since Daddy and the girls went back...13 more days and we'll be going home too.
A few more dental appointments...saying goodbye to the final cast on The Bruiser's foot...and a few more sweet days with those we love.
We celebrate today...for Nehemiah is one step closer to home...and wait we will for the next step to be revealed.
So much of this adoption has been about learning to WAIT on Him. I can see just a few glimpses of "why" we've had to wait...and I am excited to see what He will bring about next. It is good for me to be reminded that all things are under His control and that every matter, for His purposes, is within His grasp. This is where I find rest.
Nehemiah turns five next month. I so hope he will be with his forever family to celebrate that day as he's been without his family for the last four. But, all things in His time.
The boys and I are so homesick. Though the time has been swift since Daddy and the girls went back...13 more days and we'll be going home too.
A few more dental appointments...saying goodbye to the final cast on The Bruiser's foot...and a few more sweet days with those we love.
We celebrate today...for Nehemiah is one step closer to home...and wait we will for the next step to be revealed.
04 September 2011
Encouragement
A few weeks ago, our partner went back to QQ's village. She had a better camera, a scale to weigh him, and three weeks worth of milk powder, cereal, and eggs. Her email told me that she found him getting stronger, his weight increasing, and with a happy heart! The above photo is of his picturesque village.
I have seen a few photos of QQ's older siblings, the olders are all daughters. I was touched deeply by the below photo of this boy, his lip repair looking great, being carried by his sister.
QQ's family is one of the many minority groups Here. The below photo shows his grandmother at the dinner table with him, she wearing the traditional dress.
Like many parts of the US, the summer is brutally hot in QQ's village. The photo of this dear boy makes me feel hot just looking at him!
Below: But this photo, this is the one that brought tears to my eyes...
Momma, holding her boy and washing his feet. A smile on her face, though she is bashful for the camera...a smile I've never seen before. How beautiful it is to see them, in their home, living life as a family...full of hope for the future together! Just 18 months ago she gave birth to a son that she knew she couldn't keep. She had no way financially to fix the cleft in his lip and palate. Yet, she fought bitterly and courageously against the acceptance of that fate...left her village and people group and traveled more than 20 hours standing on a train with her son tied on her back...to sit down and endure the degradation of begging on a street near my home. I admire her to my core.
The villagers knew she left with the baby and I imagine that they all knew she would return without the son who was born unlucky. That is simply how it is done.
But instead, she brought her baby home...healed.
I wonder how the news spread around the village? Did they finally arrive at the question...WHY? This was surely not the outcome they expected.
Then, by a perfect design, someone came to the village...someone who could speak their dialect...who knew the answer to the "why" question. Someone who brought food to help the boy continue to grow so that he could go away to another far away place and have another sugery.
Then they all hear.
The answer is love. Love that is quite literally...out of this world.
03 September 2011
Back at it...
We've been enjoying furlough in the US which as given us some wonderful moments with family and friends. There are several developments that are taking shape in regards to our future, items that began as that still, small voice and now are matters of obedience that we will walk through. We've experienced encouragements, discouragements, and His grace through all of it. We have talked and talked and talked and talked to people to share His story...and so, the writing has been non-existent here. It is time to get back on the horse.
The summer has included a dozen trips to Shriner's Hospital where we've experienced such excellent care. The Bruiser's leg/foot barely resemble the clubbed foot with which he came to us. He has been a soldier, excitedly enduring each weekly casting, the surgery to lengthen tendons, and the struggle to keep up with a perpetual cast on his leg. "I'm going to run so fast, fast!" He tells anyone who asks about the cast. When he came home to us last year, the effects of institutionalization were profound. We thought that his "main issue" to be addressed was the club foot...how wrong we were. Our guy needed to learn how to be human...how to interact...how to trust...how to love. We had thought the healing was needed in his feet. Yet we discovered the healing was needed in his heart and mind. The year we waited to correct the club foot was, by perfect design, the time needed to witness the miracle of his coming alive! Where he once only responded with fear and anger when approached by others...now he warmly greets anyone he can. He is the biggest comedian in our family! Where once his face was mostly blank and expressionless, now he has a MILLION crazy facial expressions that he uses to reduce everyone to laughter and smiles! Where he once would go to any person who grabbed a hold of him...now he insists that he remain with his family. Just last week, I had to leave to take his older sisters to the airport to send them back to the Middle Kingdom for the start of their school year. The Bruiser pressed me, over and over again, "Momma, please don't leave me." Of course I reassured him each time...but my heart soared at how right it was...that he knew he belonged to me/us...
The Singer has blossomed in his English this summer. He chatters on and on with us now, asking probing questions and pressing us for more info on EVERYTHING! He had to grapple with fear and trust issues that often caused him to be whiny and fussy...episodes that were nearly a daily occurrence. Yet, we have seen him come on to a new level of confidence in his place in the family. He is much more smiley, less tense, and he has warmed to his extended family. When dining at our friend's Chinese restaurant last week in our old hometown, the friend commented that he was "amazed" at how the brothers are now "just brothers and part of the family." The comment was not lost on me. It is good to pause and marvel at how His love had permeated their hearts and brought deep healing. Adoption truly is a miracle, for us in the spiritual sense, and also on the physical level for those of us blessed enough to witness it up close.
Bub rounds out the rest of my current posse. We are the last scheduled to depart and return home. Daddy left us three weeks ago to fulfill his duties for the school as Dean and prepare for the first day of school which was September 1. The girls stayed on with me to savor some special days at the Fair (our first in 3 years), more family fun, and finally returned with their Grandma D just this week. Now the girls with Grandma are back with Daddy and school has begun. The boys and I are left shuffling about waiting for the last cast to be removed so that we too can get back to our work with the rest of the tribe. We are so grateful that we're able to stay with family and friends and have some extra special moments with loved ones that have been so scarce in recent years.
We are still waiting for paperwork to bring our newest son home. Curious delays have presented themselves...probably for Great purpose...that we can reveal to you at a later time. We are eager to get Nehemiah home but trust that He has the perfect design for the entire process, inclusive of the timing!
We've had marvelous news about QQ! His last check-up with our partner in his province showed that he was gaining weight due to the regular support of formula, eggs, cereal, etc that we've been sending his way. I received the most beautiful pictures of him, at home, WITH HIS FAMILY...that brought me to tears. The Good News has spread throughout his rural village and we have just a glimpse of how the miracle for QQ has effected so many in his life. How thrilled we are that we've been privileged to be a tiny part in the Plan for this boy, his family, and his fellow villagers. I will post the pictures in the coming days!
We have been fed(physically and spiritually), loved, and encouraged by our people these past 8 weeks. I have a growing anticipation for our fourth year. The opposition has been intense in country on matters vital to our school's (and our family's work in the school) future. But, we're seeing once again that if He is for us, who can be against us?
I'm down to the last four or five items on my list to find and haul back to our home. Though I'm in the States until the 20th of September, I've already begun to pack my bags. It is so difficult to be separated from part of the family. What a time of joy we'll have when we're all back together...for 5 minutes or so before the kids start crashing into each other's space like cars at the demolition derby!
There is much to be encouraged about...He is working through countless lives...we've heard story after story this furlough about His hand at work. We are grateful for the joy that is in this journey of adventure. This year we expect to stretch us further, press us harder, and reveal more of His nature to us than ever before. When you think of us...ask for courage...that we will embrace obedience and do all He has prepared in advance for us to do...no matter how scary that obedience appears!
And so begins year 4...
The summer has included a dozen trips to Shriner's Hospital where we've experienced such excellent care. The Bruiser's leg/foot barely resemble the clubbed foot with which he came to us. He has been a soldier, excitedly enduring each weekly casting, the surgery to lengthen tendons, and the struggle to keep up with a perpetual cast on his leg. "I'm going to run so fast, fast!" He tells anyone who asks about the cast. When he came home to us last year, the effects of institutionalization were profound. We thought that his "main issue" to be addressed was the club foot...how wrong we were. Our guy needed to learn how to be human...how to interact...how to trust...how to love. We had thought the healing was needed in his feet. Yet we discovered the healing was needed in his heart and mind. The year we waited to correct the club foot was, by perfect design, the time needed to witness the miracle of his coming alive! Where he once only responded with fear and anger when approached by others...now he warmly greets anyone he can. He is the biggest comedian in our family! Where once his face was mostly blank and expressionless, now he has a MILLION crazy facial expressions that he uses to reduce everyone to laughter and smiles! Where he once would go to any person who grabbed a hold of him...now he insists that he remain with his family. Just last week, I had to leave to take his older sisters to the airport to send them back to the Middle Kingdom for the start of their school year. The Bruiser pressed me, over and over again, "Momma, please don't leave me." Of course I reassured him each time...but my heart soared at how right it was...that he knew he belonged to me/us...
The Singer has blossomed in his English this summer. He chatters on and on with us now, asking probing questions and pressing us for more info on EVERYTHING! He had to grapple with fear and trust issues that often caused him to be whiny and fussy...episodes that were nearly a daily occurrence. Yet, we have seen him come on to a new level of confidence in his place in the family. He is much more smiley, less tense, and he has warmed to his extended family. When dining at our friend's Chinese restaurant last week in our old hometown, the friend commented that he was "amazed" at how the brothers are now "just brothers and part of the family." The comment was not lost on me. It is good to pause and marvel at how His love had permeated their hearts and brought deep healing. Adoption truly is a miracle, for us in the spiritual sense, and also on the physical level for those of us blessed enough to witness it up close.
Bub rounds out the rest of my current posse. We are the last scheduled to depart and return home. Daddy left us three weeks ago to fulfill his duties for the school as Dean and prepare for the first day of school which was September 1. The girls stayed on with me to savor some special days at the Fair (our first in 3 years), more family fun, and finally returned with their Grandma D just this week. Now the girls with Grandma are back with Daddy and school has begun. The boys and I are left shuffling about waiting for the last cast to be removed so that we too can get back to our work with the rest of the tribe. We are so grateful that we're able to stay with family and friends and have some extra special moments with loved ones that have been so scarce in recent years.
We are still waiting for paperwork to bring our newest son home. Curious delays have presented themselves...probably for Great purpose...that we can reveal to you at a later time. We are eager to get Nehemiah home but trust that He has the perfect design for the entire process, inclusive of the timing!
We've had marvelous news about QQ! His last check-up with our partner in his province showed that he was gaining weight due to the regular support of formula, eggs, cereal, etc that we've been sending his way. I received the most beautiful pictures of him, at home, WITH HIS FAMILY...that brought me to tears. The Good News has spread throughout his rural village and we have just a glimpse of how the miracle for QQ has effected so many in his life. How thrilled we are that we've been privileged to be a tiny part in the Plan for this boy, his family, and his fellow villagers. I will post the pictures in the coming days!
We have been fed(physically and spiritually), loved, and encouraged by our people these past 8 weeks. I have a growing anticipation for our fourth year. The opposition has been intense in country on matters vital to our school's (and our family's work in the school) future. But, we're seeing once again that if He is for us, who can be against us?
I'm down to the last four or five items on my list to find and haul back to our home. Though I'm in the States until the 20th of September, I've already begun to pack my bags. It is so difficult to be separated from part of the family. What a time of joy we'll have when we're all back together...for 5 minutes or so before the kids start crashing into each other's space like cars at the demolition derby!
There is much to be encouraged about...He is working through countless lives...we've heard story after story this furlough about His hand at work. We are grateful for the joy that is in this journey of adventure. This year we expect to stretch us further, press us harder, and reveal more of His nature to us than ever before. When you think of us...ask for courage...that we will embrace obedience and do all He has prepared in advance for us to do...no matter how scary that obedience appears!
And so begins year 4...
08 June 2011
Qian Qian Update
So many things have developed with Qian Qian's story. I hope to fully tell them here so that you can share our joy at the marvelous reach of the One who is control...
Below is a photo of the village in a western province where Qian Qian's family lives. It was taken yesterday by an angel...well, an angel and answer to prayer for us...she went to visit Qian Qian's family and began our next phase of the project to help this little boy.
As I have already written, we sent QQ and his parents last month to a big city in the Southwest for his highly anticipated palate surgery. This had been months in the making. We met QQ and his mother begging on the street in November, he was eight months old. (Read
HUMANITY posts in October 2010 for the full story) Then in November, through many miraculous connections, we celebrated the surgery that closed his lip for the first time in his life. His appearance changed so quickly, so miraculously.But there was a problem when we finally got he and his parents to the big city last month. QQ had LOST weight in the six months prior, and as a result, was no longer eligible for surgery. A subsequent email from one of the lead doctors on the team said that in fact he showed signs of malnutrition. They (the doctors) agreed that they would admit him to the next surgical trip (in November) BUT he would have to gain a great deal of weight between now and then.
There were many problems with this scenario. We had given money to the family to buy good milk powder for the baby. It should have been enough. But they do not live in a vacuum. In fact, they live in the poorest province in this nation. They have at least two older children (possibly four if you count a couple cousins that I believe live with them), they are farmers with little to no income, the grandparents also live with them and they are surrounded by others in their minority village with profound needs. I cannot imagine the pressure, the heart-crushing dilemma of having money that is supposed to benefit only one person in your home. How could I, as a parent, allow that to happen?
Too often we read disaster stories of folks like us who try to "help", but in the long run HURT those they want to serve. Good intentions wrapped up in the complexities of culture and poverty...it is a heady business. BUT, we KNOW that we are called to help this boy get his surgery and STAY in his family. So what do we do?
We considered two scenarios:
1) That we find someone to go to, and stay in, his rural province to monitor that he is receiving enough food. (or, more unimaginable than that, FIND SOMEONE IN his rural province who would work with us in this project.)
2) Bring QQ to our city, take him into a short term foster care situation just until November's surgery where we can oversee his nutrition and weight gain...so we don't miss this crucial window. (The doctors say that he MUST have his palate closed by November or the damage to his speech will be irreparable.)
The first was a LONG SHOT to say the least! The second violated one of our core values in the project...to KEEP QQ WITH his family, not to remove him, even for a short time! Such separation might weaken the family bond...and our goal is to PREVENT his life long separation from his family. Overall, we were convinced that sending money was no longer a solution and that furthermore, cultural sensitivity was essential to preserve the dignity of this family.
So Daddy said over our last meeting with some local counsel..."HE must already have the answer! Though we don't know anyone in that province (half the country away), HE KNOWS THEM ALL...we'll need to go forward in faith, knowing that HE will lead us to the key person HE has in place for this project."
I knew Daddy was right, but it did seem really, well, impossible. We had met, over our retreat during Spring Festival, ONE family from our home state who lived in this province. They did not live close to QQ's village, I had already tried that obvious connection, but Daddy encouraged me to go back to them and start reaching out with QQ's story.
I wrote an email to the family we knew. I asked them to forward it on to any other like-minded people in QQ's province. It explained the situation with QQ and that I needed a partner to be hands on making certain that QQ got his nutrition AND stayed with his family.
After one week, as single email. "Just wanted you to know that we received your email. Your plea has reached the city nearest QQ's village. We are not able to help you as we have three young children and no ability to travel easily to the village...but, we're going to forward it on to others in the city. We're willing to help you find someone."
I was so encouraged.
Then four days ago a new email. "Hi, I received your email. I am in XX, XX which is close to the family's village. Recently I have been teaching English to some local Miao people. One of my students is a Miao lady from the same area. I just called her now and she said she knows where they live. I don’t know what I am able to do yet but if you have more information about the family or even pictures of the baby and his parents we can find their home faster and see what the present situation is. My friend seems to say that her relative lives in that same village. Maybe they might have some village relationship and know each other.
May God bless you for loving that baby!"
And there it was...
His provision, once again.
Subsequent emails and phone calls confirmed that this lady who has lived in the city nearest the village is from Atlanta and has lived in QQ's province for nine years. She is fluent in the national language AND she has relationships with several people from QQ's minority group! IN fact, one of her students has FAMILY in QQ's remote countryside village! Folks...this is a miracle! We have only been here 3 years. We have very limited contacts...almost none outside of our city...but here He has brought us a connection that leads to the very village where QQ's family is! Praise Him. Praise Him, Praise Him.
Then yesterday, while I was teaching, I got to texts to my cell phone. They were of a darling boy that seared my heart seven months ago...standing in his home...smiling at the camera...his lip repair looking fabulous. Our new contact then called me....she was sitting in QQ's home!
Absolutely miraculous.
In real time I was able to assess the situation. I would ask the question, she would translate it into Chinese, her Miao friend would then translate it into the EXACT MIAO DIALECT that the mother speaks. (There are thousands of dialects around this country, often just 50 miles brings you to a village where their language is TOTALLY FOREIGN, but here He brought us the perfect connection, someone who could talk to my hero (QQ's mom) in her NATIVE TONGUE! Isn't that just like Him? He speaks to each of us in the language we know...so that we can know His love!)
The family, afraid of running out of the current milk powder supply was only feeding QQ three times a day, and only using a portion of the required serving amount. We immediately talked with them about increasing his feedings...and using the full amount of milk powder required...assuring them that we will make certain every two weeks, that they have the food they need for him.
This new partner has been working with this people group already...and she has the connections and desire to come alongside this family during this time. She has access to health care and some educational resources in the area too that QQ's family can connect with as well. This is "exceedingly, abundantly beyond all I could ask or imagine!" ;)
Now for some photos to finish my post for this day...
Below: QQ's house in the village.
Below: Inside QQ's home. Dad is stoking the fire, Mom is holding QQ upright on the table.
Below: The stove in the home.
QQ looks at his two older sisters.
QQ with Dad and Mom.
This is a miracle that continues to unfold before our eyes. How marvelous it has been to follow His lead and to discover all He has in store for this child and his family.
Now we will have monitoring and care every two weeks. Our partner will receive our sponsorship funds and will buy the necessary food and medicine for QQ. He must gain a LOT of weight by November. We need him to be at least 12 kg. Please, pray for him and his family during this time.
It is amazing to discover the "work He has prepared in advance for us to do." We are humbled as we rejoice over how He answers prayer.
The opportunity to be used in this tiny way... inexpressible joy.
23 May 2011
Striving for Grace
Within our host culture lie several complicated cultural minefields. We do try, as often as possible, to avoid them. When we stumble upon them, we freeze and try to determine the most delicate and grace-inducing manner to back out of the mess.
For instance, when dealing with a problem, a mediator should always be enlisted. Within the employment realm, contracts mean nothing. They are suggestions of how the relationship MIGHT work out, but there is nothing to hold either party to a signed contract. In fact, there are boiler-plate contracts we have signed at various levels of official approvals and we're told plainly that it is simply a form. Usually it is fully in Chinese, many pages long, and goes into some file system somewhere to show that a "step" in the multi-step system was completed.
So when you have an issue at work, generally speaking, there is no guarantee of how it will resolve (no contract to fall back on really.) You enlist someone to help you with the problem, for foreigners, sometimes it is someone entirely outside of the specific employment environment, to contact your boss and to have a chat about you and your problem, indirectly.
This is also true with relationship issues. Often if there is a problem you go to a third party to help mediate the situation, immediately. For the Western mind that seems complicated and so indirect! Surely you could just sit down an TALK about it, right? If you have a good relationship with your boss, or with your friend, my first instinct would always be to talk about it with them directly to see if we can "work it out." Time and time again we've seen this work out to a poor end. There simply are more ways to skin a cat, and to live Here, means that we must adapt our communication and relational skills to the cultural norm.
All this is well and good, UNLESS you are the foreigner and your boss or friend needs to tell YOU something.
So as a Westerner, I know that items that are "not-personal" in the West are dealt with head-on, directly. But items of a more personal manner, things relating to your health, your marriage, your family...anything personal...and certainly anything that could be considered offensive/hurtful to the other party...we Westerners just DON'T GO THERE! Am I right?
We are taught, culturally speaking, to tell little "white lies" when something personal that could offend of hurt the other party comes up...ie. it is not the most darling baby you've ever seen, but you say it is...she really has gained weight, but you comment that she looks well...you see him drink too much at the office parties, and think he might have a problem, but you keep it to yourself...you think that they are doing something inadequate in the raising of their kids, but never in a million years would you tell them so....(I'm not advocating this practice, just relating the example for communication purposes.)
But it would seem that when living Here, and being the foreigner, there are no limits on the "direct help/comments" you might receive from your acquaintances...even a stranger you cross on the road! This has taken some getting used to!
Lots of people in the adoption community talk about visiting Here to pick up their children and having old ladies on the streets wag their fingers at them, shaming them, for not having the child bundled up to the local standard. But, when you live here awhile...that is a walk in the park!
We've been told outright that:
1) We're too fat (several times, in front of various crowds)...true, but painful...recently Daddy had his stomach patted when he left our regular lunch-time restaurant...
2) Americans are terrible in Math and they hope our kids can measure up (at dinner parties, at school assemblies)
3) That we don't have enough money to have so many children. (we've been questioned about our earnings in groups, we've been asked if we live on government assistance from the US, we've been asked how much money we have in the bank, etc.)
4) We've been told that we cannot possibly take good enough care of our children, given the number of them. (at a dinner party, several times one on one by a "concerned" friend!...mind you they think everything is going well with the children now...but just wait...doom must be around the corner!)
5) We've been told that we're just "lucky" that our kids are well-behaved, that parenting has nothing to do with it (at a school meeting with other teachers & parents)
6) That we (I) drink too much Coke (I'm sure it is true, it is my vice, but I'm talking about one friend who connects everything in my life to drinking Coke...if my neck hurts, if I have a cold, if I'm having a hard day...then she tried to get her children to counsel me against drinking Coke...just got another email last night apologizing that she had to correct this flaw in my lifestyle again!...she also told me last week that we were getting sick because we had a few struggling/dying plants in our home)
7) That we, under no circumstances, should adopt anymore children...because it makes no fiscal sense.
8) That we should not consider adopting (adding to the family) without the express permission of our chancellor of schools...we've been told this a few times. (Consider this in your US school settings....you must go to the Superintendent and see if he/she is in agreement with your family expansion plans.)
9) We've been told that we are endangering our kids when we don't take them immediately to the hospital when they have a fever, cough or sniffle...(we have done this to avoid potentially other more serious exposures at the hospital, and the perfunctory 3-5 days worth of regular IV infusions...even for a common cold!)
10) That if we allow our children to wear sandals in May, no matter the weather (80-90 degrees), they will soon be really sick. (This may be true as most of our kids are not fighting some sort of a stomach thing...perhaps transmitted through the toenails?)
Each time we have one of these direct/personal comments...we have to handle it in a way that shows grace...
I have nearly bit my tongue in half so many times! But we have to remain calm, and remember why we came...
Just last night, after reading another (by Western standards) very pushy health warning in an email...I took a breather and composed a "thank you for loving me" email response.
My normal nature, when I face these comments, would like to point out the dozens of things I see that I think are crazy about this person/culture that are far more health-threatening, medically incorrect, philosophically incorrect...but then, what would I accomplish?
Remember us in this area as we strive for Grace in all our responses.
And, don't be surprised this summer when we're on furlough, if we let you know of some areas that you should make some improvements...
Hope you have a nice start to your week!
For instance, when dealing with a problem, a mediator should always be enlisted. Within the employment realm, contracts mean nothing. They are suggestions of how the relationship MIGHT work out, but there is nothing to hold either party to a signed contract. In fact, there are boiler-plate contracts we have signed at various levels of official approvals and we're told plainly that it is simply a form. Usually it is fully in Chinese, many pages long, and goes into some file system somewhere to show that a "step" in the multi-step system was completed.
So when you have an issue at work, generally speaking, there is no guarantee of how it will resolve (no contract to fall back on really.) You enlist someone to help you with the problem, for foreigners, sometimes it is someone entirely outside of the specific employment environment, to contact your boss and to have a chat about you and your problem, indirectly.
This is also true with relationship issues. Often if there is a problem you go to a third party to help mediate the situation, immediately. For the Western mind that seems complicated and so indirect! Surely you could just sit down an TALK about it, right? If you have a good relationship with your boss, or with your friend, my first instinct would always be to talk about it with them directly to see if we can "work it out." Time and time again we've seen this work out to a poor end. There simply are more ways to skin a cat, and to live Here, means that we must adapt our communication and relational skills to the cultural norm.
All this is well and good, UNLESS you are the foreigner and your boss or friend needs to tell YOU something.
So as a Westerner, I know that items that are "not-personal" in the West are dealt with head-on, directly. But items of a more personal manner, things relating to your health, your marriage, your family...anything personal...and certainly anything that could be considered offensive/hurtful to the other party...we Westerners just DON'T GO THERE! Am I right?
We are taught, culturally speaking, to tell little "white lies" when something personal that could offend of hurt the other party comes up...ie. it is not the most darling baby you've ever seen, but you say it is...she really has gained weight, but you comment that she looks well...you see him drink too much at the office parties, and think he might have a problem, but you keep it to yourself...you think that they are doing something inadequate in the raising of their kids, but never in a million years would you tell them so....(I'm not advocating this practice, just relating the example for communication purposes.)
But it would seem that when living Here, and being the foreigner, there are no limits on the "direct help/comments" you might receive from your acquaintances...even a stranger you cross on the road! This has taken some getting used to!
Lots of people in the adoption community talk about visiting Here to pick up their children and having old ladies on the streets wag their fingers at them, shaming them, for not having the child bundled up to the local standard. But, when you live here awhile...that is a walk in the park!
We've been told outright that:
1) We're too fat (several times, in front of various crowds)...true, but painful...recently Daddy had his stomach patted when he left our regular lunch-time restaurant...
2) Americans are terrible in Math and they hope our kids can measure up (at dinner parties, at school assemblies)
3) That we don't have enough money to have so many children. (we've been questioned about our earnings in groups, we've been asked if we live on government assistance from the US, we've been asked how much money we have in the bank, etc.)
4) We've been told that we cannot possibly take good enough care of our children, given the number of them. (at a dinner party, several times one on one by a "concerned" friend!...mind you they think everything is going well with the children now...but just wait...doom must be around the corner!)
5) We've been told that we're just "lucky" that our kids are well-behaved, that parenting has nothing to do with it (at a school meeting with other teachers & parents)
6) That we (I) drink too much Coke (I'm sure it is true, it is my vice, but I'm talking about one friend who connects everything in my life to drinking Coke...if my neck hurts, if I have a cold, if I'm having a hard day...then she tried to get her children to counsel me against drinking Coke...just got another email last night apologizing that she had to correct this flaw in my lifestyle again!...she also told me last week that we were getting sick because we had a few struggling/dying plants in our home)
7) That we, under no circumstances, should adopt anymore children...because it makes no fiscal sense.
8) That we should not consider adopting (adding to the family) without the express permission of our chancellor of schools...we've been told this a few times. (Consider this in your US school settings....you must go to the Superintendent and see if he/she is in agreement with your family expansion plans.)
9) We've been told that we are endangering our kids when we don't take them immediately to the hospital when they have a fever, cough or sniffle...(we have done this to avoid potentially other more serious exposures at the hospital, and the perfunctory 3-5 days worth of regular IV infusions...even for a common cold!)
10) That if we allow our children to wear sandals in May, no matter the weather (80-90 degrees), they will soon be really sick. (This may be true as most of our kids are not fighting some sort of a stomach thing...perhaps transmitted through the toenails?)
Each time we have one of these direct/personal comments...we have to handle it in a way that shows grace...
I have nearly bit my tongue in half so many times! But we have to remain calm, and remember why we came...
Just last night, after reading another (by Western standards) very pushy health warning in an email...I took a breather and composed a "thank you for loving me" email response.
My normal nature, when I face these comments, would like to point out the dozens of things I see that I think are crazy about this person/culture that are far more health-threatening, medically incorrect, philosophically incorrect...but then, what would I accomplish?
Remember us in this area as we strive for Grace in all our responses.
And, don't be surprised this summer when we're on furlough, if we let you know of some areas that you should make some improvements...
Hope you have a nice start to your week!
19 May 2011
Strengthen your hands
Recently, we had visitors from the West who blessed us with their presence and some encouragement from the Word. Not surprisingly, part of the message was to "Be strong and do the work." This has been an ongoing theme in our regular readings over the past several months. Further the passages spoke about how He would complete the good work He has begun. This is essential to hang on to as we recognize that being Here is by His direction and for His purposes. Finally we were reminded to "strengthen our hands" for the work Here. We have needed this encouragement as we're feeling inadequate for the work before us.
I would be lying to say that it has been easy-breezy over the past month of radio silence on the blog.
We've had changes.
Our teammates who were Here for 18 months departed last week. It was an emotional time and one of surrendering to change. Our girls, particularly Magpie and The Bug have had a rough time of it. In many of their classes, our teammate's girls who were the same age as our girls and our two were the 4 musketeers. (that was a terribly complicated sentence.) So they see/feel the new absence daily.
We also had some real disappointment and frustration with Qian Qian's surgery. We have been waiting for 6 months to get him into a special surgery bloc this month. Foreign doctors from Canada came to a southwestern city here and we had reserved a spot for Qian Qian. We were delighted when we finally got Qian Qian and his parents on a train to the SW'ern city just 10 days ago! One of the other reasons we've waited for the palate surgery was that QQ needed to gain some weight. To get him in with the Canadian doctors, he had to weigh 10 kilograms, due to a regulation of the hospital there for anesthesia.
QQ weighed 9.5 kilograms when we had him Here and got his lip closed. That was in November. We thought for sure that in 6 months, a normal 14 months old baby (at this point) should have gained weight. Sadly, we got the call after they had arrived for the pre-op physical that our precious boy had LOST weight in the past 6 months. He was down to 9 kilograms. As you can imagine, on so many levels, this was not good news. We had to put them on the train back home the next day.
QQ's family has 4 older sisters and then himself. Mother and Father are farmers living in the poorest Province of this great nation. They explained that often to fill QQ's tummy they feed him sugar water...to save on having to purchase expensive milk powder. Sugar water does not grow babies well. And so, dear QQ has lost weight over the past 6 months. We were so discouraged!
We are changing our direction now, and we have entered into an arrangement to supply monthly sponsorship funds to help with the purchase of milk powder. Now our eyes are set on November again...the foreign team will be here and they are reserving a spot for QQ. Our focus is on getting QQ growing and gaining.
We're hoping to find some like-minded folks who live in QQ's family's province who can check up on him regularly as well as work on developing a relationship with the family as a whole. Keep lifting this situation up with us!
We also been involved for the past 5 weeks with a massive reorganization of our apartment. We have really needed to make better use of the space we do have so that we can more effectively fit our numerous family members into this place! So to that end, we have moved all the kids into sleeping in bunks in one room. So far this makes for a CRAZY bedtime situation, but it seems that they're settling.
We've gotten rid of a large guest bed that we had in a room that took up so much space and since none of your people will come over and visit us, it largely sat unused. We took out that bed and Daddy constructed a massive closet in that bedroom. Shelves from the floor to ceiling and now ALL the kids clothes are in one room. So far the reviews are really positive!
We also used one of the other bedrooms (we have two apartments together, so 4 bedrooms in total) as a second "living space" for games and movies. This may be my favorite improvement as it gives us the chance to get out of the SAME ROOM all the time! We had guests recently, and we could put some kids in the new room, while discussing matters easily with the guests in the living room.
All this improvement nearly broke us however as we worked on it in our "free time" (Saturdays) for 5 weeks! The house was in total chaos and I thought I was going insane! But all is right in the world now...at least in our apartment. Perhaps all of it points to that nesting urge we feel when a new child is coming.
Today I hope to find out about the feasibility of getting Nehemiah home before summer furlough. It would be a mind-bending, mountain-moving experience that would potentially rival the boys' journey last year. But we have FAITH for whatever! Please lift this up with us. We believe it would be so much better, in so many ways, if he were to get home with us ASAP and we didn't have to wait through the long furlough before getting him!
Must run and get some breakfast on...sorry for the long and tedious update.
My hands still feel a bit weak for the work before us.
I would be lying to say that it has been easy-breezy over the past month of radio silence on the blog.
We've had changes.
Our teammates who were Here for 18 months departed last week. It was an emotional time and one of surrendering to change. Our girls, particularly Magpie and The Bug have had a rough time of it. In many of their classes, our teammate's girls who were the same age as our girls and our two were the 4 musketeers. (that was a terribly complicated sentence.) So they see/feel the new absence daily.
We also had some real disappointment and frustration with Qian Qian's surgery. We have been waiting for 6 months to get him into a special surgery bloc this month. Foreign doctors from Canada came to a southwestern city here and we had reserved a spot for Qian Qian. We were delighted when we finally got Qian Qian and his parents on a train to the SW'ern city just 10 days ago! One of the other reasons we've waited for the palate surgery was that QQ needed to gain some weight. To get him in with the Canadian doctors, he had to weigh 10 kilograms, due to a regulation of the hospital there for anesthesia.
QQ weighed 9.5 kilograms when we had him Here and got his lip closed. That was in November. We thought for sure that in 6 months, a normal 14 months old baby (at this point) should have gained weight. Sadly, we got the call after they had arrived for the pre-op physical that our precious boy had LOST weight in the past 6 months. He was down to 9 kilograms. As you can imagine, on so many levels, this was not good news. We had to put them on the train back home the next day.
QQ's family has 4 older sisters and then himself. Mother and Father are farmers living in the poorest Province of this great nation. They explained that often to fill QQ's tummy they feed him sugar water...to save on having to purchase expensive milk powder. Sugar water does not grow babies well. And so, dear QQ has lost weight over the past 6 months. We were so discouraged!
We are changing our direction now, and we have entered into an arrangement to supply monthly sponsorship funds to help with the purchase of milk powder. Now our eyes are set on November again...the foreign team will be here and they are reserving a spot for QQ. Our focus is on getting QQ growing and gaining.
We're hoping to find some like-minded folks who live in QQ's family's province who can check up on him regularly as well as work on developing a relationship with the family as a whole. Keep lifting this situation up with us!
We also been involved for the past 5 weeks with a massive reorganization of our apartment. We have really needed to make better use of the space we do have so that we can more effectively fit our numerous family members into this place! So to that end, we have moved all the kids into sleeping in bunks in one room. So far this makes for a CRAZY bedtime situation, but it seems that they're settling.
We've gotten rid of a large guest bed that we had in a room that took up so much space and since none of your people will come over and visit us, it largely sat unused. We took out that bed and Daddy constructed a massive closet in that bedroom. Shelves from the floor to ceiling and now ALL the kids clothes are in one room. So far the reviews are really positive!
We also used one of the other bedrooms (we have two apartments together, so 4 bedrooms in total) as a second "living space" for games and movies. This may be my favorite improvement as it gives us the chance to get out of the SAME ROOM all the time! We had guests recently, and we could put some kids in the new room, while discussing matters easily with the guests in the living room.
All this improvement nearly broke us however as we worked on it in our "free time" (Saturdays) for 5 weeks! The house was in total chaos and I thought I was going insane! But all is right in the world now...at least in our apartment. Perhaps all of it points to that nesting urge we feel when a new child is coming.
Today I hope to find out about the feasibility of getting Nehemiah home before summer furlough. It would be a mind-bending, mountain-moving experience that would potentially rival the boys' journey last year. But we have FAITH for whatever! Please lift this up with us. We believe it would be so much better, in so many ways, if he were to get home with us ASAP and we didn't have to wait through the long furlough before getting him!
Must run and get some breakfast on...sorry for the long and tedious update.
My hands still feel a bit weak for the work before us.
18 May 2011
28 April 2011
Easter Photos
It is always a rush in the morning to get everyone out the door. We stop each day though and as the kids are ready to go, one by one, we pray for them about their day and lives.
The above photo I caught as the Bruiser was being prayed for by Daddy.
Below: the shot after the first one, he knew that I had taken a photo...but also that he should keep his eyes closed during Daddy's prayer for him...and should he smile?...obviously conflicted
Below: 5:30 am on Easter morning after finding the baskets.
Below: I taught my annual lesson on Friday before Easter to all the students at school about Easter. What is is...how it is celebrated in the West...etc. One of the flash cards I had was of an "Easter Cake" so I thought I'd take a stab at making a coconut cake from scratch. This process took me much of Saturday, and then, due to the major bend in my over sized toaster oven's "rack" it baked unevenly....thus it has a bit of a "sliding" appearance. Regardless, it tasted quite delicious and may have been nearly worth the work!
Below: For our Easter meal we set the plywood table with three bedsheets, used the Coco-cola giveaway glasses from McDonalds last year and managed a "Spring-y" looking table.
Below: Our fellow teammates from the 4th Floor have announced that they are leaving and returning to the US to care for sick relatives. (Pray for us, and especially Magpie and The Bug who will be losing their daily friends, classmates, and playmates due to this change.) So, we thought it important to have one last, large meal celebrating the holiday and their past year and a half living alongside us Here.
Below: We did manage an egg hunt in our apartment complex. Bub and The Bug teach the Singer how it is done. Many of the neighbor kids also got involved...it was a frenzy for about 5 minutes!
Below: One of the neighborhood two-year-olds. He LOVED it!
Below: Potato and The Bruiser searching and searching!
Below: The Singer shows off one of his finds.
We hope you had a blessed Easter! It is a time of transition for us with the Wu's departure. We've had great provision for our paperwork costs for Nehemiah, we're expecting some special visitors from an Abbottsford organization in two weeks, and we have our major English Performance/Competition in two weeks, too! We could use prayers for stamina and confidence as we face this major change in our life and team situation. We had great news this week however that two new couples will be joining our team in August as teachers at the school. This is welcome news. He gives and takes away.
No matter where we live or what our experiences are, Easter is the ultimate celebration of power over the grip of darkness and despair. We're so thankful for the hope we have in Him.
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