2011 - Pressing On

Happy New Year to one and all!

Now that the holidays and fourth quarter of 2010 are behind us (plus 6 birthdays and one anniversary)...we're ready to embrace 2011 and all the adventures it will bring.  2010 brought us two new sons, deeper relationships with those in our community, an encouraging time of furlough with family and friends as we drove the white van all over the US, a refocusing of our vision, and of course, the joy of helping Qian Qian.

Yesterday, on the first day of the year, Daddy and I got out to celebrate our anniversary.  We passed the 14 year mark and have now entered into our 15th year...wow, time really flies!  We went out to lunch at the nearby mega-center of shopping malls/eateries and the congregation of humanity.  Literally thousands of young, college-aged kids laughing and chatting, pressing past family upon family of one child, two parents and two to four grandparents hustling about to ensure the child's happy day...all moving in one throbbing mass of life.  On the margins, all around, the poor cluster near the peddlers bearing up under the weather with their carts offering sweet potatoes roasted in a drum or candied fruits mounted on a stick glazed with some rock hard confection, or splitting, super-heated chestnuts served with a shovel. 

Once we got off the bus, we had to cross over the major road via a pedestrian overpass.  Since we first came Here, we've seen those who beg on the overpass.  I've written about it before.  People lying on the cold cement (yesterday it was about 30 degrees with a strong, icy wind) showing their need by displaying a sign telling their story or uncovering the part of their body that has a special need...twisted limbs...missing parts...abcessed sores, bared in the merciless cold and worse, exposed to the cruel judgement of those who pass by.  Of all the experiences that have stretched us, that we've adapted to in our host culture...this remains a matter the weighs heavily on our hearts.  Especially as parents to children with visible special needs, we must face the questions from our children that in the beginning were so frequent...now less so as they acclimate to the reality..."Why is that person begging Momma?"  "They're just missing part of their leg!"  "They just need to see a doctor!"  My only answer is that they need help, that life is not fair, and that everyone who can help someone in need, must.

Yesterday, some of those begging were playing traditional instruments, sort of busking, if you will.  But then there were those who were simply poor, with nothing to play to attract attention...forced to show how "unlucky" they are by showcasing their needs in plain view.  As we walked along, we saw another mother and baby.  This is not the same overpass where we found Qian Qian and his mother, but nearby.  The mother's head was bent down low, the child's sweet face nestled up and nursing, a worn bag by their side.  The weather was so cold, the conditions worsening, and Daddy remarked that the mother was shivering with her back against the wind.  Her little tin bowl had a few coins in it...the scene pierced my heart.

I had just done some reading recently on a website for a couple who live and work in Africa.  They had written about "Stopping for the One."   The concept that they were trying to express is one that I've also read about in some of Mother Teresa's teachings...that we encounter them everywhere in life...those who are broken, needy, in pain...and that too often we allow the greater reality of "how many there are who need help" to be the reason we don't stop to help the One in front of us.  I found myself thinking on this as we stayed on the overpass yesterday alongside the mother and baby.  The baby was not ill.  In fact, the child was beautiful and bright-eyed...though clearly too small for her 18 months of age.  She was still able to nurse, so the situation was good in that momma could still offer her milk...but momma's thin frame and drawn face showed that she was not far from being too undernurished to feed her daughter.  The story we learned was that the father had lost his work one month before.  They were from the countryside of Gansu province, and now here in the big city, had no work to feed themselves.  Father had left the momma and baby on the overpass to beg while he went to find refuse and plastic bottles to sell, hoping to earn enough to save some money to buy a ticket back to their countryside town.

My first instinct, even after experiencing the miracle of helping Qian Qian was..."what can we do?"  "there are poor everywhere, all around us, how can we help all of them stay warm, be fed, have rest?"  And yet, it wasn't ALL the poor in front of us at that moment...it was just the two of them...just a momma and baby in the cold.  The momma, as the child demanded to nurse, kept exposing her breast to the bitter wind...I thought how uncomfortable I felt in my 4 layers of clothing standing there in the wind...it made my heart ache.

My overriding thought was...is this family near the breaking point that would lead desperate parents to surrender their baby girl, leaving her in a public place, watching for the police to come and take her to the orphanage?  Since I only know the story that is written once the police find the children (this is where the story starts in every file for children waiting for adoptive homes)...what does the story look like BEFORE the family must endure the greatest pain imaginable, by releasing their child so that he/she might have a chance at life?  I have seen many, many reports of children found who were 1,2,3,4,5 years old...with no idea why they were surrendered...for those children, we will never know.

We gave the momma our contact information for our local helpers and told her that we'd help get their tickets back to the village.  We made sure they had shelter arranged for the night, gave them some money for food, and finally left them once we were sure that we'd done all we could.  Now it is up to them, as it was to Qian Qian's mother, to make contact with us so that we can help them get back to their provincial home.  We have to release them and see what He will do next.

It was a good way to spend our anniversary...we felt united in His love for the "One" in front of us yesterday...we enjoyed an emotional lunch afterward talking about how we want to spend the next 14 years of our marriage.

I promised in the last post that I would tell you about the 7 young boys we have been made aware of who are waiting for homes...right here in our city.  I will do a post about that soon, but I must clarify how much I can post about them first.  I can say that they range in age from 2-8, most have been waiting more than 2 years for a family of their own.  They have a range of mild, special needs...so easily correctable...or already corrected...just in need of a family who will love them, forever.  We sort of feel like these are boys that we need to advocate for as they are just 7 of the more than 2000 on the master list just in this country alone waiting for families...they are boys here in our city...just like The Singer and The Bruiser were just 6 months ago. 

Daddy and I agreed yesterday over our anniversary lunch that we are so thankful that this is our life's calling, to give a family to children who need one...while daily it is hard work to keep up with our household, or to answer emails advocating for adoption of children, or to do what we can to prevent another orphan from entering the system like Qian Qian...we are blessed beyond measure.  Thanks be to Him who has called and equipped us for this work!

Happy New Year!