Waiting in high gear...

There are a number of issues that are pressing/pending that I simply cannot massage out of the "waiting" category to the "moving forward" category.

We have paperwork creeping its way through Immigration channels for Nehemiah.  We are waiting for a determination from the IRS to know what we must send in to substantiate our tax returns, we've only received a "we've selected your return for further review."  I've been trying for a week to get a response from the US consulate in GZ giving us an appointment time for this Friday, so that we can make an expensive train trip down and back in one day to renew our fingerprints for Immigration for the 5th time in 5 years...to prove we still have no criminal record  in the US.  We've been creeping through some visa issues Here with renewing our Teaching Certificates (complete with ANOTHER medical exam this past Friday.)   We're waiting to see where the next money will come from that we need to further the adoption paperwork.   We're waiting to sign four new teachers than I've worked on recruiting over several months.  We're waiting for final arrangements for Qian Qian's surgery next month...and on and on the list goes.

If I'm not really careful, the above makes a tornado of thought that leaves me sitting and spinning and ANXIOUS for some break in the stalemate.  Herein lies the problem.

When I allow my thoughts to swirl and I get too focused on the angst of waiting...I lose my joy.  My eyes slip from their gaze on Him, in whom ALL these DETAILS are already resolved.  HE KNOWS, and HE has made provision for all these matters.  When I am keeping my eyes and heart focused on Him, allowing his Word to sink deeply into my heart each day...I experience peace.

It is ironic...and shameful...that just a few weeks ago I was reveling in how He attends to every detail, resolved every issue, even BEFORE I often know there is a problem!  This reality was awash over me so recently as I contemplated The Bruiser's needed surgery and medical care,  his acceptance to the charitable hospital which led to my need to remain in the States for a longer period of time, which led to the need for our children to travel back Here without a parent.  Once we realize the significant challenge that was there, nearly immediately, we also discovered His beautiful plan to meet those needs.

I was IMing with a friend who is herself waiting, and waiting, and waiting for an adoption to come to fruition.  I "spoke" of my frustration with some of these waiting matters I listed above.  She said that she couldn't wait to see how He was going to resolve our every need.

Thanks to that dear sister, I was once again aware of my need to cast all my cares upon Him...to not forget this amazing gift He gives us...so that we can experience peace, in the midst of any wait/trial/circumstance.  How marvelous it will be to SEE what He will do!  How He will move mountains again and again and again.

I see a great flaw in my thinking as it pertains to how GOOD He is.  I often find myself viewing His mercy and goodness through a lens I picked up a long time ago.  One that dictates that for every good thing that He does, I must earn it, I MUST do something to deserve it.  And, that there is some sort of "limit" to His miracle working goodness, and that for every miracle we see, we're ever closer to the line where we've used up all our "miracle credit."

The lens dulls my vision, it makes my peripheral vision completely out of focus, so that my eyes can ONLY see the issue just before me.  The headache from looking through this lens muddles my memory of all He has done in our lives.

I am so thankful for the Word that, when I meditate on it...FORCES me to put down that lens and EXPAND my vision of who He is and how indescribably GOOD He is.  It is far beyond what my mind will EVER be able to comprehend.   I was forced to put down that lens just recently when I read again the story of Joshua and the Israelites crossing the Jordan river.

During the last adoptions, a dear sister spoke encouragement to us about our situation and the parting of the Red Sea.  Often that story resonated and built faith in our hearts to believe in the miracles we needed to bring the boys home.

Some time recently, while I was looking through that faith-debilitating lens, I came upon the story of Joshua crossing the Red Sea.  My vision through the lens was viewing our current needs for Nehemiah's adoption as well as The Bruiser's medical needs, and various other difficulties as  BIG PROBLEMS...we will need more miracles to move these mountains for our sons.  When I read the story of Joshua, I simply could not continue to see things as I was...I had to put the lens down and refocus my eyes on the One who parted the Red Sea AND the Jordan river!

From Joshua, Chapter 4:

²⁰ And Joshua set up at Gilgal the twelve stones they had taken out of the Jordan. ²¹ He said to the Israelites, “In the future when your descendants ask their parents, ‘What do these stones mean?’ ²² tell them, ‘Israel crossed the Jordan on dry ground.’ ²³For the LORD your God dried up the Jordan before you until you had crossed over. The LORD your God did to the Jordan what he had done to the Red Sea^[b] when he dried it up before us until we had crossed over. ²⁴ He did this so that all the peoples of the earth might know that the hand of the LORD is powerful and so that you might always fear the LORD your God.”


I was confronted with the truth that the One I put my trust in did not just ONCE part the waters for His people to pass over on dry land through the Red Sea...but AGAIN He did it so that they could pass through the Jordan.  There is no limit on His provision, His mercy, His goodness, His deliverance or His miracles.  If at anytime I'm allowing my thinking to be otherwise...I must change my thinking...


Our part is just like that of those who crossed the Red Sea AND the Jordan...to tell our descendants what He has done..."so that all the peoples of the Earth might know that the hand of the Lord is powerful and so that we might always fear the Lord (our) God."

I'm thankful this morning that my eyes have returned to their right focus on Him who does miracles...and that my waiting is now joy...the joy of anticipation, for I know how marvelous it will be when He reveals how He intends to move us through the obstacles...on dry land.