The Equalizer

Take human beings, introduce to them a health crisis in their child, compel them to live and breathe for days the hospital environment...and you notice an interesting fact...The Hospital is the great Equalizer.

I have been feeling a bit discouraged, more than discouraged...disheartened, by the many struggles we are party to, where families are deciding whether or not to fight for their children.  Due to incomprehensibly complex factors, families here who have a child born with special needs, often face a nearly unthinkable choice...whether or not to fight for their child or to rather choose the soul-scarring option to walk away.  Too often I know that the decision is made not to treat the child.  Too often the family believes they have no other choice than to abandon.

Each and every story that we know about leaves a wound on our hearts.  I hadn't realized how heavy the burden of this knowledge had grown.  It was not until our recent hospitalization with The Charmer that I felt an infusion of hope and encouragement...evidence that there are those around us who choose to fight for their children...to do all they can to preserve their lives. 

Shi-yu's parents have spent months and thousands of dollars to fight for her.  The well documented gender bias for male offspring in this part of the world would leave many girls at risk.  Their families, unwilling or unable to invest in the costly treatment for a daughter.  My local friends say, "that is a countryside problem...city people don't feel that way about girls."  And while that may be generally true, I have seen a new city-dwelling father turn away in shame before his male family members when his newborn, whisked out of the operating room and in into our waiting room, was perfunctorily announced to be a girl.  Yet, Shi-yu's parents have put their entire lives on hold and have spent likely most of their savings to treat her severe complications.  They care for her every need, spoon feed her, encourage her to try to stand and walk, wipe her brow, massage her aching stomach...she is loved.

Jin Jin's grandparents came to the hospital three days ahead of her surgery to admit her.  They didn't want to risk any illness, or that something might inhibit their granddaughter's access to the surgery she desperately needed.  They cooed and bounced, cleaned and fed, paced and cajoled their grandchild in a bleak hospital room...because they are fighting for her.  They are not well to do, yet they are investing everything to give Jin Jin a chance at a healthy life!  She is a baby girl.  I never saw her parents, not even on the day of surgery.  Perhaps they are busy working; they may be some of the scores who travel as migrant workers all over this huge nation?  Whatever the case, it is Jin Jin's grandparents who are giving their all to bless their granddaughter...she is loved.



There are other families that we bumped up against.  Others who are still on the edge, weighing the decision...to fight or to surrender their babies.  I pray that the tenacity of love and the allure of hope will shine forth from Shi-yu and Jin Jin's families and will enchant them...challenge those nervous parents to press on and fight for their babies.



We were just one of them.   We are of those who fight for the weaker ones...our children who depend on us to spend ourselves unreservedly to protect them.

In that place we are not foreigners.  We are parents.

In that place we are not rich or poor.  We are parents.

In that place we are not bound to our cultural identities.  We are parents.

In that place we are not different, but the same.  We are parents.

....In that place we are all in need of miracles...of deliverance...of the Comforter's touch...