Talking...but understanding?

It is a difficult thing to comprehend until you've lived it...

The wear on your emotions and general well-being living day after day in a place where there is constant talking, around you...even to you...but little understanding.

We've cleared some hurdles on basic communication. Daddy said just last Friday, "when I'm out in town I hear over and over again words and phrases that I know...I can follow along!" This is a HUGE development for Daddy who was certain that he was too old a dog for such new tricks.

We generally are fearless when venturing out to new places...we can work our way through the fog to get to the location we desire...but still...the core function of understanding...it eludes us.

Some examples:

1) At a birthday party a few weeks ago for our local family's one year old daughter, we were honored as the foreign guests with tables full of locals. A huge feast was offered to all in attendance with many dishes that we've never seen before. But we're in for it, we're going to eat what is put before us. Routinely however, we DON'T ask exactly what we're eating...as it can effect our level of enjoyment. The large round table sat 10 of us so many discussions were happening around the table. Magpie, plucking a morsel from the lazy susan with her chopsticks asked our dear friend..."what's this?" "Cow's stomach!"

Being the cross-cultural girl she is she nodded and introduced the cow's stomach to her mouth. Eager to not offend, she ate 4-5 strips of stomach...struggling to chew through the rubbery consistency. Somehow, Daddy did not hear the exchange regarding the identity of the foreign meat he was consuming...with some degree of vigor. It wasn't until later that he told us he'd enjoyed the "squid" immensely. "Squid?" Magpie inquired..."No Dad, that was cow's stomach!" Somehow his stomach turned against him and he forbade anyone in the car on the way home to so much as mention any reference to anything bovine...

...lots of talking...no understanding.

2) We have a dear lady who helps us with housekeeping. We call her "Ayi" which means "Auntie." She is a sister and we often hear her singing praises loudly...it's a joy. She speaks NO ENGLISH...really, NO ENGLISH. But we often laugh and hug as we try to play charades to discuss whatever the issue is at hand. Last week, after struggling with a comforter cover we bought in Thailand (made of Thai silk, very beautiful and very, very cheap), Daddy in a fit of frustration took the cover off the comforter because it continued to slip off the bed night after night. (It is still very cold here at night....in fact this morning I could see my breath in the bedroom...so the comforter is quite important.) At any rate, Ayi, attempting to be helpful, put the comforter cover BACK on the comforter for us to find that evening. Once again, Daddy removed it. When I saw Ayi the next day I searched my brain for any of the local words for "comforter" "slips" or "too cold"...but gave up and began to act out the plight we'd been having with keeping the comforter on the bed.

Ayi wanted to help and she excitedly told me a few things...she talked a great deal...I understood little. I THOUGHT she understood me. Later that day she surprised us with showing up at our door with a brand new comforter cover that she had bought up the road at a local shop. It is fire engine red, crayon orange, olive green, goldenrod yellow and purple in a large block pattern. It also has as scroll type detail in the pattern with brick red and brown. She happily showed me that it also had some English on the fabric...on every fourth square in large black/white letters it reads "Best Good."

She presented me with the bill to reimburse the cost...of course I paid and thanked her profusely...and we've been sleeping under the "Best Good" for a week now...how could we ever change it?

We were talking...but no understanding...

3) We went out last week for a HUGE treat...there is a Papa John's Pizza that has opened in our city a 30 minute ride from our home. The pizza is fantastic and we clamored to get a table. We ordered two green salads (another rare delicacy) and our eyes were alight when they delivered them to our table.

I asked about salad dressing.

The waitress talked about many things to me...I did not understand.

Then she brought little packets of mayonnaise to the table.

We said "no, thank you, what other dressings to you have?"

She said many more things to us.

Some time later she brought out a squeeze bottle of Thousand Island. We were delighted. As we began to squeeze the dressing on the salads and another waiter came to our table and said, "NO!"

"No, what?" we said.

"NO!"

He began reaching for the salad dressing. Daddy had it firmly in his grip and I could tell he was not willing to give up the salad dressing without a fight.

A few minutes later they brought out mayonnaise in little dishes...they'd opened some packets and then presented it to us a dressing.

"No thank you" Daddy said...we want to use this one...pointing to the Thousand Island he'd just let go of...

"NO!" "NO!" "NO!"...the waiter growing more vehement...was he going to lose his job over allowing us to partake of the Thousand Island?

There was no point in carrying a discussion further. We smiled and shrugged our shoulders and when he went to get someone else to help tell us NO...we quickly poured out as much dressing as we could...fearful we would never be able to see such a sight again...

Much talking...no understanding.

Still now...we have no idea why.



Got to work hard with that tutor....next up...how to negotiate with a waiter for Thousand Island dressing...