Random Photos

We are simply buried under life at school right now.  Trying to get paperwork wrested out of the hands of service providers for adoptions is also a daily struggle...but, we have been living, though not writing.  Here are some shots of the gang over this past little while...

Below:  The Bug shows her "glam" side on Retreat in January

Above & Below:  More shots of cool cats...in a Thailand-style taxi

 Below:  Another Thai-style taxi...the Tuk Tuk...we LOVE to pile into these! (note: we cannot ALL fit into one! ;)

Above & Below:  The Bug turned 9 - she had a cake on Retreat with Grandma J & one with classmates when we returned home

Below:  the going away party for our Indian friends (also see one of my worst cultural faux pas in history detailed in an earlier post)

Below:  Magpie shows her funky-style in this self-shot portrait

Below:  Brownie is CONSTANTLY mugging these crazy poses and wacko faces in shot after shot...this is proof that the apple does not fall far from the tree!

Below:  Pre-K Field trip 2011 - a visit to the Cherry Blossom Garden park...just our little group and 10,000 others for a relaxing Tuesday - Daddy stayed behind to do teaching duties and I got a rare morning with The Singer and The Bruiser

Below:  This photo is out of order...but it is a shot of Potato with one of the Kindergarten teachers (who is only slightly taller than Potato...so this endears them to each other)

 Below:  The Cherry Blossom Garden Park...a delight for adults...not sure why we take the P-K kids there...but it was fun to get out in a little Springtime!

 Below:  The Singer and the The Bruiser on a rock...it's sort of a funny smile on The Bruiser...but is shows how much he LOVES his brother...they have really become close...

Below:  The guys making crazy faces in front of a pagoda...no caption was really necessary on this, I know

 Below:  A random kid I took photos of... I call this shot... "suspicious and bored at the Cherry Blossom Garden."

Below:  Yes, he was wearing "split pants" - a favorite for many babies Here - they can be bundled with 10 layers of thick, thick clothing in the winter...but their "parts" will still be out in the breeze

Below:  Obviously...these pants, split from the front to the back, would allow a little breeze on the cheeks...

 Below:  Kindergarten teachers with us

Below:  apples for our picnic

Below:  The Bruiser - running - he LOVES to run, even though his feet cause him trouble...how FAR he has come from the boy who could barely walk just 8 months ago

Below:  The Singer...showing those dimples...

I will attempt to post some recent stories, soon.  Must finish writing the school play that has to be performed by all our ESL kids in just a few weeks...you should hear the re-write of R.O.C.K in the U.S.A that Daddy has done for our kids (using our school name)...I promise videos!

Hope Spring has come wherever you are!

Cultural Strides

After my heinous cultural faux pas written about a few posts ago, I'm so happy to detail a bit of a victory that we experienced recently.

As we are doing the necessary paperwork for our newest addition, we don't have too much to do...but were surprised recently when we needed to go back to redo our Medical Checks and obtain a "You're not a bad guy/gal" form from the local authorities.  Both of these issues have significant challenges within them (the first being that we needed to do a blood draw/test and each time we do so, due to current practices, we EXPOSE ourselves to many serious health risks.)  The second I won't detail here, but suffice it to say that IF we were not a "good guy or gal" in the sight of those overseeing us officially...we would NO LONGER BE HERE...as we live here based on the discretion of the big guys...if we were in any trouble with them...we would be sent packing!  The cultural issues involved in obtaining such a "Good guy/not a criminal" form are too many to detail as such a request completely defies any reason to those who are asked to provide it.  I am ever so hopeful, as we've been notified of an interview date this afternoon, that this key form will soon be in our hands.

Back to the first issue...

Last Saturday we needed to go out and start on the Medical checks...NEVER a really welcome sort of thing...in any place.

A major problem is that I have a "medical form" provided by a US agency, that requires the Doctor to "interpret" the results of all the "check-up" items, then sign, date, provide a medical license number, etc.  This is simply NOT done here.  That sort of form is completely foreign (and not just because it is entirely in English!)  Of course the Doctor here will provide us with documentation of our blood work, and all the other checks required by the form...but to ask them to fill out the form...is outside of the realm of imagination.  For them, the form is totally sub-standard, when they can provide us with all of the formal medical records.

I'm grasping at this early hour to describe how crazy this idea is to ANY person here...

Maybe it is the same confusion that foreigners feel when they come here and they sign boiler plate contracts that really have nothing specific in them, no job descriptions, and nothing that the company will be held to.  For the Western mind, this is ridiculous!  Facts are everything, facts supersede everything!  But Here, it is the relationship that is important.  If you have a good relationship with your employer, they will treat you right.  But, no paper will guarantee that...whereas in the West...you can sue that employer based on the "letter of the law" in your contract.  Foreigners struggle with the "WHY?" question incessantly...but it simply cannot be answered...that is the way it is Here, and if you can't hang...you have to face going back to your home culture.

So, it was sort of like that when we showed up at the hospital all smiley, asking a Chinese Doctor to "fill out" this (to us) CRUCIAL form, based on her medical exam.  For our minds, we would be tempted to say..."It is so easy, so clear!"  But, it not a matter of presenting/re-presenting/persuading to Doctor to see the logic behind the form. Just the same as a Chinese employer could never present/re-present/persuade the foreigner to understand WHY they have to sign this contract that seems so official (to the foreigner) but has no meaning, to the Chinese.  It simply is apples to oranges.  There is no way to communicate clearly enough to make it make "sense."

In year one, I would have still be operating heavily on the idea that I could reason my way through the situation with the Doctor...and that it should be accomplished in some sort of "reasonable" (by Western time standards) time frame.  I would have felt anxious about it, frustrated when it wasn't as "simple" as it should be, and exhausted by process of it.

In year two, perhaps a bit like the above...but I would have surrendered to the idea that time, and thereby "reasonable time frames" are different Here.

This year, before we left for the hospital I thought of two things.

The facts of WHY I need this form, and the doctor to fill it out just so...don't matter...they are NOT helpful in ANY WAY to getting my need fulfilled.

The Doctor needs to establish a relationship with me, quickly, so that she can provide me with something, that to her is completely ridiculous and not understandable.

So, I got two things and stuffed them in my bag:  a photo of our whole family, and the last medical form we had done (at another hospital) for The Singer and The Bruiser's adoptions.

When we arrived at the hospital we began the dance of communication.  Our dear Uncle was there with us, so our first job was to explain to him WHAT we needed, specifically.  Once he understood, he helped us tell the 'story' the first time, to the intake nurse.

The next three hours were spent talking about the situation, in a series of brief conversations,  with the Head Nurse.  Of course, she assured us, they would provide everything needed for the medical check on their official, stamped/chopped documents...WHY did we need the silly American form?  Several times we used the last medical form, and the Doctors' all important signatures, to show exactly what we were asking of them once the Medical exam was performed.

Finally, with the help of Uncle, she brought us a Doctor to speak with.  We started the apologies again for the silly form and did our best to explain what we were requesting.  About 10 minutes into the very verbose exchange I thought..."this is it! it is time to get out the photo."

So, I stepped over into the fray and thrust the photo in front of the doctor.  Her eyes, immediately wide, took in the sight.  She looked up at me and asked a few times, "these are ALL your children?"  Then the perfunctory, "wow, what a big family!" and then I said again, but now with the help of the visual aide, "there is another local boy, just like these two (pointing to the two newest guys) who is waiting for a family.  We are trying to complete this silly paper so that we can be allowed to bring him home."

Immediately the situation changed.

The photo had changed everything...we had begun a relationship...and within 5 minutes, she wholeheartedly agreed to fill out the form based on our exams, to sign and date and stamp it just as it needed to be...because obviously we too understood how "ridiculous" the form and the specific rules around it are...and we needed her help to bring a dear boy home.

It was so cool.

Daddy and I marveled at how far we'd come, how we not only had learned HOW to negotiate such a cultural difference...but that even a greater thing had happened within us...

We weren't at ONE MOMENT frustrated, angry, irritated, anxious, judgmental, or exasperated!  We KNEW it would take a big chunk of our day, and that no matter how much it makes sense to us...it is simply seen completely differently by our neighbors (and doctors!)

I wish I could clearly express what a break-through this was!  It was fantastic!  It was monumental!

And, it really encouraged us to see how He has molded us, changed us, and helped us to step outside of our black and white judgments to  be able to not only get by...but to be successful in this foreign land!

He has so much to do with us still...but, we can see that we're on the road to becoming more of who He wants us to be...in the ever great hope of transcending culture...so that hearts can be touched!

8 on 8

The silence on the blog has been directly related to contents of this post.

If you read some earlier posts as to our retreat time in Jan/Feb and the clarity regarding our work Here, we have continued to seek Him, asking about what He would have us do with our lives next.

In December we were greeted with some very unexpected news from There.  In the process of counseling with some prospective adoptive parents, our agency contact informed me that there is a new policy regarding adoption Here.  Unlike anytime in the past, the adoption authorities are allowing families to re-use their dossiers (think 5 inch stack of papers, multi-certified, months to assemble and hundreds of dollars to complete) if they were to complete another adoption within one year.

This news rocked our world.

I knew, as did Daddy when I told him, that this was news we could not close our ears to.  Yet, we were involved in the last weeks of the Fall term of school, Christmas was upon us, and we were JUST finally feeling NORMAL again after the addition of The Singer and The Bruiser.  I would say we were sort of feeling like taking a victory lap on the last adoptions.  Considering those to be the last of our family's additions...but then the news...in essence the message...you CAN bring another child home...which then begged the question...would we?

In January we began to review files of the 7 boys who were here in our city, many who have waited and waited for a family of their own.  Each of them so precious, so deserving of a family of their own.  Our hearts were really torn. We have been blessed beyond measure through adoption...literally, for many people they cannot imagine the blessings we've received!  Yet we went back to those standard thoughts and natural concerns about adding another to the fold.  We found one darling boy who just seemed, to Daddy and I independently, like the One.  

So we set about gathering some intel on him.  We asked for updates on him (as his file was OVER 2 years old), we did some investigating closer to home to see what we could about him...I think we were both starting to believe that he was indeed going to be an H family member.

Then something so confusing happened.

We got a message, locally, that he was really sick.  That he was so sick he was no longer in his foster home...and that nothing could be done for him.

When we got the call I was just confused.  In my spirit I just felt that the news was wrong.  Sometime later I mentioned that feeling to Daddy, that I STILL felt that this guy was going to be ours, and he said, "yeah, without a doubt, me too."

Then we received the news that Papa G died. (Daddy's father.)  So Daddy and The Bug hurried to the US to attend the services and to say good-bye.  We were running like chickens without heads with finals at school and getting ready to leave for retreat.  Each day the question about the boy nagged at my heart...but I felt myself wavering back and forth with the thoughts..."Are we really being asked to do this again?  Are we not? I thought that this boy might be our son...but he's too sick to be adopted?"

After we'd been at the retreat center for a week, we were both continuing to receive encouragement from the Word that adoption is what we are called to...that until He says otherwise...it is the central calling on our lives...and we received an email.  It came through formal channels that the boy was well, he had no implications from his special need (he had one kidney removed very soon after birth, the other appeared to have some slight enlargement) and that he was doing well, waiting for his family.

Why the different reports?  My heart sort of jumped at the "good" report...but I really wanted to be for sure.  

A few days later, another unexpected email clearing up the discrepancy...the boy was still in his foster home...and doing well for a normal 4 year old boy!  

We had now enjoyed two weeks of rest and quiet time, searching out the Word and being with dozens of other like-minded families.  Our hearts were encouraged and we had received that wonderful, peaceful sense of "knowing" that comes when we've receive the faith to step out into the unknown.

So while at retreat, we wrote the petition to the adoption authorities.  Even though we knew how improbable it was again (we would need another income waiver, family-size waiver as we'd added another two boys since our last "waivers" were granted...and on an on...) we were at peace that we simply had to be willing.  Whatever He did with our willingness is not our affair...we were simply willing...and if the approval was given, then we would continue forward in faith.

In record time (4 days) we had our pre-approval.  (The last two approvals we received for The Singer and The Bruiser took 2.5 weeks and 4 weeks respectively!)

So without further ado...our 10th child...

we will name him Nehemiah as that Book has been deeply personal to us and our family in these years since we came Here...Nehemiah was the one given the burden to rebuild the wall of Jerusalem...he was mocked for using the burned and discarded stones from the old wall...but he showed uncommon faith and leadership in what he was called to do...and he used those discarded stones to build a wall that restored the city.

He looks perfectly like an H family member to us.

I have a dear friend who, when we were in Junior High and living in the Midwest, said to me, "when it comes to the number of kids you have, you HAVE to have an EVEN number of kids, so that no one has to ride ALONE at King's Island (an awesome amusement park in Ohio.)"

So, as we were at a theme park just last summer where Daddy and I often had to fill in the "extra" seat so that one of our kids did not have ride alone...we're so thankful that Nehemiah will in fact even up the number of kids on amusement park ride.

As our oldest two are living full time in the US, these means that we'll have 8 kids in the house now.  Magpie said the other day when we were coming up to our apartment..."hey Momma, now we'll be 8 on 8"  (we live on the eighth floor.)

It IS crazy, we know...you don't need to tell us.  We are living solely for the approval of Him who has called us.  So for those who can rejoice with us, please do...it will be another fantastic faith journey to bring this one home...and you're welcome to enjoy the show along with us!

GREAT things HE has done!

It wasn't broken!

Everyone needs a little excitement, just to feel alive...right?

On Sunday afternoon, I'd just been "chatting" with my Mom via IM, and had ordered everyone to the baths/showers for their pre-bed clean-up.  About 5 minutes into Magpie's shower she's yelling, "Momma, come here, quick!"  A few bounding steps had me in the bathroom where the water was coming up over the tops of my slippers.  (A "Life Here" note:  the Chinese bathrooms are so clever, in that they have TWO drains.  One in the shower/bath...and if there is a toilet...one on the floor somewhere.  Usually the floor of the bathroom is several inches below the level of the floor in the rest of the house too.)  We'd encountered an epic fail of our drainage system...neither drain was draining...and soon the recessed floor was going to overflow in the rest of the house.

I ran to find a chopstick to start pushing through the drains and told The Bug to get our "plumber extraordinaire" aka "Daddy!"

Apparently, once she located said plumber on the other side of the house attending to some bathing monkeys (also see Bub, The Bruiser & The Singer)...she came running through the apartment...judged that the corner of the couch an impediment...and attempted to leap over it.  Something tragic happened with her calculations...and instead she flew threw the air and landed fully on her left elbow (onto our tile/concrete floor.)

It was a crazy 30 minutes as she suffered badly from it and for Daddy who was certain, after seeing the crash, that it was damaged significantly.  We determined that we'd better go to the hospital (enter emotional feelings of being out of control, fear attempting to course through the veins, stomach flip-flopping.)  So Daddy stayed home with the rest while the Bug, our teammate Mrs. Wu, and myself loaded up into a rented van to make the trek.

I determined before we'd left however, that I was missing ALL our insurance cards (which is NOT like me)...and The Bug's passport (which is required at the hospital admitting)...was currently in the possession of the Gov officials getting a new Visa in it!

(We determined that we've got to get ourselves in much better order in case of an emergency...so, I will undertake that effort this week!)

Once again though, I was encouraged by the safety net He's put around us.  (Teammates who go with us to the hospital, our Chinese family, Uncle, who dropped his plans to meet us at the hospital to lend any translation help, and private cell number contact with the Chief Doctor of the ER who personally called me 3 times to ensure we were getting good care at his ER.)

It was also funny that I wasn't surprised anymore by any conditions that I saw there...or the smoking of people in the hospital building...or the lack of amenities in the rooms.  I guess, in year 3, I've got a sense of what to expect.  It was surprising that we saw not a single person in the ER beds though...for such an enormous city...I thought, it must be that so many could not afford the "cash up front" demands without insurance.  I said a prayer of thanks right then again for this blessing we have via the school (insurance.)

A first x-ray was inconclusive.  A further CAT scan was ordered.  And the result was all good...it wasn't broken...and we were home 5 hours after the incident.  What a relief.

I'll take a quick moment here to update you also on Little Kevin.  I wrote about him in September and October (he was the classmate of Bub's that was hit by a truck outside of our Living Quarters Gate and then subjected to 4 months lying in bed in traction, in an attempt to fix his broken pelvis.)

We saw him not long ago.

He hasn't returned to school and as far as I knew...in January...he was to finally be let out of bed. (He is 3.5 years old and has spent the past 4.5 months tied down in a bed.)

We were on our way to a wedding of a colleague.  And, Kevin's family brought him along.  He was in a stroller.

Because, he cannot walk.

I was absolutely devastated.

Bub, saw him too.  Remember, Bub was his best friend at the Kindergarten.  When Bub approached the stroller, Little Kevin wouldn't even make eye contact with him.  This is a MASSIVE change from the bubbly, playful and outgoing Kevin before the accident.

I was SO PROUD of Bub though...he was NOT daunted by Kevin's lack of response.  He kept trying to get Kevin to respond.  Darting around behind the stroller, trying to play peek-a-boo....but Kevin would just hide his face.

It was so sad, I looked away.

Then I heard it.  LAUGHTER...GIGGLES...Little Kevin was laughing at Bub.

Bub, in fast and fluent Chinese was playing a peek-a-boo game, hiding behind the stroller, looking through the "window" in the sunshade above.

Over and over Bub's enthusiasm produced peals of laughter.

They told us that they planned to take Little Kevin to some new doctors in Shanghai...in hopes that now...something can be done to...to restore their son.

Please, keep lifting that little guy up...it is such a tragedy...it is what we feared.

Must get the tribe to school...