Finish Line

He made it.

This morning we awoke a bit late...but motivated to peel that boy out of that STINKING cast!  It was so smelly, we felt we'd really encountered a sensory element of season of Christ's birth...the Yankee Candle company is not likely to produce the Nativity Scent (essence of ox, ass, and sheep.)  A new experience, indeed for this family, and a new appreciation for the humble birthplace of our Lord.

We uncovered some painful pressure sores on his lower back.  He also sloughed of an amazing amount of skin on his legs in his first two baths of the day.  He was fearful, as were we, as he sat up for the first time in six weeks.  His core is weak and unstable, but he gave us smiles here and there as he experienced some freedom.

I was very fearful as it appeared to me that his left hip (the one that has been twice operated upon) was not as good as his right hip.  We braced ourselves for the worst, and loaded him up to engage in the full-contact sport of getting in front of a doctor at the local hospital.

Our dear surgeon was so upbeat and gave The Charmer a high-five as we made it to the 15th floor.  He checked his hips first, and declared that the hips were STABLE.  (For those of you who have followed this journey, the last time we removed the a cast for his left hip, his hip came out of the socket nearly immediately upon the leg being lowered to a normal position.  It was entirely unstable.) 

The declaration of "they're stable" brought forth a torrent of tears from me...I was so surprised by the amount of emotion...but I realized how we've been holding our breath for months...actually years since we knew that his hips were in such bad shape and there would be no walking until they could be stabilized.  Then today, the revelation of a stable pelvis...and I felt remarkably unprepared for what it all means.

The surgeon sent us to x-ray which revealed that the left hip is not "as successful" as the right hip, but that the hips are healed and holding.  That the hips are "going to be just fine." The second update was about the femur bones.  Those bones take longer to heal than the hip sockets, but even the femurs are healing very well where a chunk of bone was excised from each thigh. 

Our only precaution today was that he cannot STAND on his legs for 2-3 more weeks.  He has to wait to STAND...

The discussion quickly turned from the hips and femurs to BRACES for his legs.  Where will we get them?  How will we pay for them?  How long will it take to get them made?  (Each part of this journey has been paid cash upfront.  This is due to the fact that as an adopted child, living abroad, the only insurance we can have for The Charmer is one that excludes his pre-existing conditions.  So anything related to Spina Bifida, scolisis, etc., is not covered by his insurance.  We have been ASTOUNDED by the provision that has come, literally having just enough cash on hand...down to the last $15...needed to pay for his recent surgery!)  So we need to find a skilled craftsman here in China to make the braces, inexpensively.  Or, we need to find a company in the States, or perhaps a charitable hospital, or even a company in another country that will help us make the essential braces that will enable The Charmer to stand and WALK.  Please be lifting up this next need as we wait the few weeks necessary to enable him to start standing.

Some are confused about whether or not he will be able to walk "normally."  Due to this damage to his spinal column from his condition at birth, he does not have sensation or control of his legs.  So, the braces would enable him to have a strong foundation on which to stand, and then he will use his hip muscles and core muscles of his abdomen to lift and move his legs forward.

He looked up at me today when the surgeon said, "he has to wait 2-3 weeks to begin standing"  and his face registered the awe at this new stage in his journey.  He asked me, "is he talking about ME, STANDING?" 

This boy has soldiered on through immense difficulties that I think perhaps would have broken me.  Months of bedrest, horrific traction, bone infection, massive doses of antibiotics, loss of any activity outside of his home...and he still has the courage to go on, dreaming his dream of walking.

I want to be more like him.

I want to be tough, and willing, and fearless.

He continues to show us the way.

3 Weeks Down

Time goes very slowly when you're lying on your back.

Three weeks post-operation...24/7 lying on his back...and most days, he still smiles at us!  Some days his frustration builds to the point that he makes irrational demands and accusations, "I want a doughnut! Give me a doughnut" (never mind we're in China, where donuts are not plentiful!)

"Get two police men over here, in hats!  I want to get out of this place!"

"I told you, that I am hungry!"

"Why are you soooo mean to me?"

We really try to be loving and patient.  The other kids are getting to exercise their tolerance and are learning to be understanding of another who is confined, in pain, and frustrated.  This, of course, is not a natural response from any of us.  Often we want to tell him what to do with his doughnut demands!  But, I think that compassion is growing in all of our hearts.

It is easy when we are able-bodied, and in control of where we go and when.  We simply have no sensitivity or understanding for the incredible frustration that comes with physical limitations.  Maybe we've tasted it for a season of life; illness, broken limb, or incarceration ;) , But as soon as we have our physical freedom and mobility again, the memory fades away.

Just last week I spent hours searching for information on how to use public transport in Thailand for those who use wheelchairs.  In the West, before I had a son that used a wheelchair, I honestly never gave such a thing a moment's consideration.  But now, I have to travel to Thailand as several kids passports and visas are expiring and we have to attend a conference there later in the month...so I will leave with the "affected passport" kids, and spend several days in the heart of their capital city, in a small guest house...trying to find ways to get The Charmer around with us.  Even taxis are not really an option, given our number and the wheelchair may or may not collapse enough to go into a trunk.    The number of skytrain (public transport system) stations that are NOT wheelchair accessible outnumber those that are, by 10 to 1.  Yet, without the Charmer in our lives, none of us would have ever thought of this when traveling to a new city, without the use of a private vehicle.  Just trying to get from the airport to the guest house...is like a massive jigsaw puzzle!

I know that compassion is such an admirable character trait.  I often ask for more compassion in my life, because naturally, I don't think I am very compassionate.  I suppose that walking this journey with The Charmer grows all of us, but perhaps me the most?  When I'm tired, cold, and just want a moment to myself...and then I hear demands to bring the police to the house, with hats, right now?!  Oh, how I wish I could say that I embrace those opportunities to grow in compassion.  It is rather more like chewing leather; a slow and distasteful task.

I remember a teaching, at sometime in my past, that we are like stones lying in a riverbed. Each soul closest to us, are like stones lying there together while the water washes over us.  However, we are not just gently touched by the water, but, in fact, we are forced to rub and jostle against those stones lying beside us.  At times, I have felt literally battered by all the little stones and their rough edges that lie about me.  Greater still, what friction have I caused in their lives with my roughness?  Yet the end result of lying in that stream bed together, grinding against each other, is that we become smooth.  The rough edges are worn away.

That is one great benefit of living with The Charmer during this difficult time.  My callousness is slowly growing smoother as self-centeredness gives way to compassion, as the river of our lives together flows by.

Home

The Charmer is resting in the living room of our home now, on a slanted bed, that inclines his head a bit.  He's very pleased to be home, as we all are, but he reminds us routinely that he doesn't like laying on his back 24/7.  We will likely make a paper chain for something that he can tear off one link a day to help him see the passing/progress of time over these next 5.5 weeks!

His incisions look very good, and he's eating and drinking well.  The x-ray post surgery, is sobering.  So much metal and such little bones!  The steel plates they affixed to his legs, the 11 pins and screws, make a very interesting photo!  And, I realized my error in the last post...that he has so many fancy  additions, that rivals Lee Majors...not Steve Majors! (Decidedly 1970's American reference to the "Six Million Dollar Man" TV Show!)

Our thoughts and prayers now focus on life regenerating in his hip sockets, complete healing and strength in his femurs that were completely cut through, shortened and re-attached, and continued protection from infection!  We must also now begin searching for braces for his hips and legs.  He has some fashioned braces for his knees, but we need a bracing system that would give him support from the hips to the knees so that he can learn to walk. :)

The weight of this surgery, the anticipation of it for so long, was a greater burden on our hearts and minds than I think we realized.  We're certainly not through the tough parts of the journey, but, we've taken one giant leap forward!!!

We are to move house next Friday. We could really use your prayers in this area as it is now very cold here on the Tibetan Plateau, it is risky to move The Charmer any distance, and we are running low on resources necessary to achieve it.

On our way to x-ray

Moving down the road, to get to the building with the x-ray machine

Still in good spirits...hoping to go home!

Day 2 - Post-Op

It was a long and hairy night in the recovery/observation room.

Sometime between two and five am, the catheter The Charmer was using, blocked.  As he was being pumped full of fluids, they started to leak around the catheter site and within a short period of time the entire bed, blanket, and his new cast was soaked with urine.  That was an unfortunate thing in itself, but the fact that I could not get the nurse to DO ANYTHING about it, made me nearly crazy.  I was told, over and over again, that I "must wait to talk to the doctor after nine am."  Then a second  nurse came on duty at seven am.  Same story, only this time, the situation had grown even worse and now The Charmer was really uncomfortable as the cast over his midsection was causing increasing pressure on his bladder that could not be adequately emptied.  His whole face started to look very puffy and superman did not feel so super anymore.  I thought I was going to hurt someone.

Amazingly, when our surgeon/teammate came at 8 am, I was fit to be tied and he remedied it, HIMSELF, in a matter of moments.  Then he and I carried The Charmer, cast and cape, "flying" through the hallway to our semi-private :)  room..semi-private is such a funny term here...all night last night people were opening our curtains, lifting the sheets to see The Charmer's battle scars...staring, prodding, poking...without any sense of intrusion.   However, the surgeon's getting involved personally and taking care of what should have been the nurses' duty,  caused a major face issue for the nurses, but it was expedient and effective.   I heard the retell of it several times in the hallway of the ward during the day! The result of this catheter mishap resulted in a major reworking of his cast and new bandages in every location we could reach.

He's got quite a bit of pain, especially around the incision spots.  He is up and down emotionally, and makes it clear to everyone that:  1) He hates needles.  2) He's got to "get out of here."  3)  Everyone needs to say sorry to him.

I am home now, Daddy is sitting bedside, and we're trying to attend to everyone's needs.  I will shower, clean up everyone here, and have some time with them...then I'll return to the hospital tonight about 10 and Daddy will come home as he must drive the kids to school in the morning and teach his first class at 8 am.  I don't teach until 1:30 in the afternoon...he'll return to the hospital to relieve me.  And so it goes...

The other big issue of the day was that The Bug, had some serious abdominal pain, focused in one area of her abdomen...that presented as a possible appendicitis.  I got the call at 10 am that Daddy and she were on her way to the hospital to be seen in emergency.  I needed to register her (a circus in itself), meet their car and take her to emergency and then to the different departments for necessary testing.  (Here, no matter how much pain you are in, the patient must walk/be carried from department to department of the hospital for testing.  Whether it be blood draws, x-ray, ultrasound, cat scan...everything is in its location...and the patient prepays the fee, then goes to the department in various different buildings/floors, on foot to have the tests run.  This was no easy task for a girl with a severe stomach pain.  We have seen many times, people taken outside on gurneys from building to building in the snow/rain/whatever, so that they can have their tests run.

The tests showed some problems with white cell count, some reasons for abdominal pain (not appendicitis, thank the Lord), and she has come home tonight to rest.  Please lift her up as she is still not feeling very well and wants her Momma who will be away again tonight.  For awhile today, I thought we might be on the surgical floor two times in two days with two different kids!

There will be more blood work tomorrow, and if there is no sign of infection, we may be sent home with superman to begin his six week total bed rest.  He must lie down all the time, no sitting up, but CAN have a pillow under his head.  I'm sure you can imagine how much fun this will be as we're also set to move house (to one with heat on the first floor!) in just nine days.  :)

More children entered our sphere today, more courageous parents who are fighting for their kids, fighting for those who have needs!  Ah, I feel so humbled to be among them!  These are real champions.  While I know from a Western perspective that seems dramatic, you might think "of course, you do anything for your child"...but here, due to the costs of health care payable up front, very few doctors who ever give a good prognosis for a child with needs as they are afraid of themselves being defamed if the child doesn't have a complete recovery, and the pressure in the society to have ONE perfect kid...these parents who we're mingling with now...they are my heroes.

I thought about the loneliness of a child without someone to fight for them.  Some of our own children were once those, without parents, without someone to take up their cause.  I felt quite alone for a bit while I waited for Daddy to come to join me in the surgical wait (yes, I should have savored time alone, but it felt very vulnerable, very out of control with our boy in the OR)  I wept and prayed and told God everything I was feeling...and then I remembered the army of family and friends carrying us before the Throne...and I was awash with comfort. 

I hope that it is that same feeling of comfort that the Charmer experiences when I wash him, wipe his brow, protect him and reassure him during the scary parts.  He's just a little boy on an enormous journey, he needs his Dad and Mom to do everything we can to help him now.  I am so glad we can be there for him.

We are too, little children, in our Father's eyes...those who need loving care to manage this journey.   While my parenting is flawed and painfully limited, His is perfect and unlimited...when all else fails, He remains.

Surgery

After 8.5 hours in the operating room, The Charmer emerged.

 

He was really angry coming out of anesthesia, and he was

 very, very verbal. 
We were taken down to the surgical anti-room at 7:10 am, 

at 7:30 he was promptly whisked into the OR.   

 He looked over the nurse's shoulder who carried him away 

 from me and said, "Momma, you wait right there!"

 The start of surgery was rough.  They had to try five 

different locations and veins to get his IV started.  

 Once they would find a vein, and the medicine was pushed,

 his vein would blow out.  

 Sadly he was awake and very traumatized by this.   

I had hoped that the anesthesia would wipe out some of 

memory of that, but no such luck.  As soon as he could 

utter the words,he was shouting and accusing any and all 

medical personnel of being mean!

 He kept insisting that everyone must apologize to him.

The surgical report: all the planned work was completed.

 Overall, the surgery was successful, though longer than

 anticipated. Sadly, we became more aware of the poor 

quality/strength of his bones. 

While doing work with a bone saw on his right hip, 

and grasping at the upper portion of the pelvis, the bone 

simple broke away.  

 This was remedied by more screws...and generally, this guy 

is going to be more re-built with designer parts than Steve 

Majors.

 
The plan is six weeks of a half-body cast.  With no sitting 

upright (bending at the hip) whatsoever.


Due to the significant length of the surgery, they've 

required us to stay in the observation room (also see 

"busier than a milking parlor before first light").


We have two new interesting roommates in our future space...

a boy with three fingers in each hand fused (something I've 

seen dozens I'd times in orphanages)... But this is a boy 

with his whole family here for his surgery to correct his 

hands!  

 The boy is two and soooo spoiled, though he has charmed me 

thoroughly. Calling me auntie at first sight (usual for 

Chinese to Chinese but far less common to receive as a 

foreigner) and pleading with his mom to share some of his 

gum with me, before waving good bye to me and blowing me 

a kiss!  

 The second child, a boy who had his kidney removed, due 

to a tumor. Likely a similar thing to one of our other sons.  

 I was able to encourage his patents about our own son, 

living  a healthy, active life with one kidney!


Our Charmer wore a Superman cape into surgery this morning,

 and told me just moments ago, in a pain free spell..."I 

am Superman."

Yes.

He is.

The Countdown.

It's really here.

Our little man goes back to the hospital in just eight hours.  We'll sit and wait for them to come with the final papers to sign; consenting to all the risks of the major surgery.

The anesthesiologist asked me today, all the consent questions, in Chinese, about the length of his surgery...potential heart complications, brain complications, and on and on...

We're supposed to go down to surgery at 7:30 am.  It's different here.  The patient's family carries/pushes the patient to the surgical elevator, carrying all the medicines/drips/supplies for the patient's surgery, and a box of ibuprofen (to manage the surgical pain!?)  We are responsible to carry them into a sort of anti-room just outside of the surgical suite.  We will wait there again.  Then, a surgical nurse will come and carry him directly into the OR, and I will sit outside, on metal chairs, for 5-6 hours (best case.)  Daddy will join me after the other kids are off to school.  And at some point and time someone will come out, call out The Charmer's name, and we'll rush into the anti-room again where we must transfer his little body from the surgical bed, onto a gurney and then again transport him up to his room again.

It seems surreal.

We are in the final hours before he gets the surgery we've been dreaming about for nearly three years.  Tonight, I feel ready...and yet...I want to stop time and protect him from the hard stuff ahead.

This boy is a fighter.  He is a dreamer.  He is more than I ever imagined him to be.  He so magnificently exceeds everything anyone ever said about his condition, his prognosis, his "potential."  I am so grateful that I was given the chance to be his mother. 

I am hopeful.  I am fearful.  Yet, I will choose to believe along with him for the miracle.  We. will. see. the lame. walk.

I am tearful.  I am conflicted.  I am joyous, that he is getting his chance. 

Thank you, to each of you that has believed with us.  Those who have prayed for us and given financially to us.   His chance at surgery and hope for healing is because you have come alongside us.

Pressing on....

A sketch of tomorrow's surgical plan...five bone incisions, two steel plates, multiple screws...and probably some transfused blood...

Several of the kids and neighbors gathered to pray over The Charmer last night

The Big Week

It's 6:30 am here.

We're loading up The Charmer, his wheelchair, and all the kids.

First stop is to drop off everyone at school.

The second stop is for The Charmer and Momma to go back to the hospital for the pre-surgical work-up.  Blood, x-rays, ECG, paperwork and money...as it's time for the big show.  In twenty four hours he should be in the process of being prepped for surgery.

We got a diagram of what they're going to do to his little bones.  Five incisions, five different cuts through the bone, lots of screws and two new plates to hold his newly "reduced" femurs together again.  1.5 to 2 cms of bone will be removed from each femur to reduce the pressure in the hip sockets...casting is projected for six weeks.

We will continue to update here as we have internet access.

The hospital is a "wi-fi free" zone.

We'll be seeing Shi-yu and her parents today.  Our hope is to return home tonight, rest in our own beds, and then head in for surgery at 6:30 am tomorrow.

Please lift up the surgery and The Charmer, of course...but please remember our other kids, who will all bear the stress and strain of this surgery in their own ways.  It is a very difficult time of worry and instability for them as well, and they are apprehensive about it, understandably.

We are in the hands of a brilliant surgeon who loves The Charmer too.  Beyond that, we are in the hands of the Greatest Physician, Provider, Healer, and Father...who knows every need and goes before us.  To Him be the glory.

They lead us...

So, after an eventful (as usual) day of school, we headed off to the hospital to get the pins in The Charmer's legs, again. 

His mood was astounding, given all he's been through in these past months.  He's so ready, to do what has to be done, he is GOING TO WALK...

...He is going to DANCE! 

He declares it, at every opportunity.  What a charge he gives us!  He is leading us with his gentle, powerful, insistence...he has unshakable faith.  How blessed we are to watch this, to be challenged by this journey.  Who would we all be, if not for him in our lives? 

It was close.  We nearly passed him over.  We nearly allowed our fear and his precious, challenged body rob us of the chance to be his family.  Absolutely nothing made sense when we made the choice to adopt him.  For those of you who know the lengthy battle we had amongst our family, four daughters with their convictions overwhelming their parents' "reasonable" refusals.  It all began because our, then seven-year-old daughter Brownie found The Charmer in a room full of babies at the orphanage, he himself already four years old, and she made him a promise, "I will not leave you here, I will come back for you."  Her focus, her belief in possibilities,  her conviction...her unshakable faith.

Lessons - afforded us because of these children in our family.

We simply could not estimate the number of times we've been asked, "why?"  Why so many kids?  Why kids with significant special needs?  Why did you expose your biological kids to the risks of adoption?

There are so many answers to these questions, reasons to give, but at this moment,I am certain of this ...because they change us, challenge, us...they lead us by their faith. 

Today, two more pins were placed.  The Charmer was brave.  It was so difficult to watch those pins drilled through again...fear rising in my throat...prayers against bacteria, for strong bones, for successful stretching of those essential muscles.

Then I looked into his eyes on the table.  Their steely resolve encouraging me to let go and believe for the miracle that he expects through all this.  We choose to believe.  Believe along with us, pray for these essential days of traction, and rebuke infection!

We'll leave you with photos our two hour hospital visit.  We thought you might enjoy the diversity of faces who came to stand and stare at us, unabashedly.   We're just "not in Kansas anymore."

These guys are from Tibet - they viewed our living exhibit (us sitting on hospital benches) for a good forty minutes

The elaborate minority attire on this lady on the right included hair braids that extended down below her waist and were then woven/attached directly to her belt.

These two pinched and poked at the boys for seemingly ages...intermittently chanting and fingering their beads

Another patient...whose parents are not cheating him on daily meals...

These Muslim ladies were enchanted with our spectacle

We visited Shi-Yu!  She is doing SO, SO, SO much better!  Her parents thanked you all for your prayers.  It could still be weeks before she goes home...her parents have deeply inspired us!

A Buddhist monk wants to touch the "white-hair boy"... Daddy puts a protective hand on his son's head, in response

So, there you have it.  Just another day in our life here...hanging on for what each challenge brings.

Traction - the Remix

Met with our surgeon tonight and he examined The Charmer.

New plan...re-start traction by placing new pins in both legs on Monday.

Pull 24 hours a day for seven days.

New surgical date: November 18.

Projected house move-in date: November 28.

So yeah...just need a little grace, and courage, as we move toward the next sizable hurdle before us. 

Though tonight we cower a bit, we remember Who holds the future...and He is ever good.

Bloodwork - Good!

Sorry for the lapse in updates.  We've had four birthdays, a harvest party at school, several trips to the hospital...and lots of other events...in the past few days!

The Charmer really is a superman!

We spent two hours (processing through and waiting at the hospital) on Saturday to get the updated numbers on infection for The Charmer.  The incredible news is that his blood count is back to NORMAL!  We've had 14 days of massive antibiotics, and nine more to go...and he's been doing it!  He has willingly digested the warm water/mixed with antibiotic granules...four times a day.  His legs look great and he's pulled through a nasty cough that had him down for several days over the past week.  When he gets a cough, it is terrible as his lung capacity is so slight.  We will meet with the surgeon on Wednesday to revise the surgical plan.  It is probable that this weekend we will begin traction again (please pray for wisdom as to if we put pins through the legs again or go another route)...and hopefully will be having surgery within a week after traction begins.

We are moving to a new flat in just 25 days, which can really causing some difficulty with the surgical/hospitalization requirements for The Charmer.  We're ever so excited to be settled down in a new flat as the 3rd floor one we're staying it we've not really "unpacked" to live in over these past two months!

I will leave you this evening with some photos of our recent Harvest Party event at the International School...

The H Fam...all dressed up

Mr. Sunshine...a few days before the harvest festival...this costume is somehow ironic

Bub...had a band of merry men

One tough Brownie Ninja

Magpie, our cowgirl

The Bug, with friends, as a Live-Eye News Reporter

The Singer, Drummer Boy, and The Bruiser try to teach Mr. Sunshine how to do a photo for Momma

Princess Potato

Antibiotic Blues & Wounded Souls

With some balloons brought today

The Charmer's constant companions - keeping watch

Nineteen more days of 2400 mg of antibiotic a day.

Four times a day, The Charmer must drink a semi-sweet, funky-smelling cup of antibiotic cheer.  He tells us, we have to "kill the bad guys" in his leg...and we agree...but the impact of such high doses of antibiotic on a little guy's body, does cause concern.  Please pray for his body to withstand the high doses and that his stomach and digestive system are not compromised. 

He's had visitors come by to cheer him.  He's proud of the holes in his legs and loves to show them off.  He tells them all, with authority, "I'm gonna walk."

Some from the High School came to visit and bring some cheer

In other seasons of life, we have run like crazy people, day in and day out.  Now, we must settle down, observe a cautious pace, and walk this journey along side The Charmer.  There are many realizations that come upon me with this slower gait...more time to think and process...more time to write.

It brings compassion for those who deal with chronic illness.  I'm thinking of my dear friend back in the States who has dealt with chronic, debilitating illness and disease for years.  She has soldiered on with strength and has remarkably retained her compassion for others.  As we are now planning regular visits to the hospitals to see Shi-yu and Jin Jin, I'm reminded of the number of times I've seen this friend go beyond her pain and circumstance to advocate and love on others while she herself is confined to a hospital bed.  I hope to be sensitive to the needs of others around us who are dealing with hardship. It seems to make our load lighter when we can still see those around us, their needs, and strive to love them along the way.

Wherever we are in our lives, at work, at school, in the hospital, in government offices,  at service clubs, at the grocery store...people surround us.  People who are hurting and afraid.  Those of us who have the Hope that our Father brings are never empty-handed.  We have gifts to give.  We have light to share.

Often we see people begging here.  Tattered and torn, some owned by others...they are all marginalized by society.  They sometimes display a sign before them on the city sidewalk proclaiming their needs...money for medical care, transportation costs, food...we have been impressed at times to sit with them, to get involved, to inquire further about how we might help.  In some ways, those souls are easier to see, to identify.  They display it all...desperate for help.

Yet, wherever you find yourself reading this, you will brush up against hearts today that have just as dire needs, but because of different life circumstances, they are able to conceal those needs from the passers-by.   However, we have the sensitivity of the Spirit who can reveal those in need to us.  I know at times, I have been touched by awareness of the need, but have continued on because I feared it too difficult or uncomfortable to reach out.  I must be willing to stop for the one before me, to do, to offer what I can, to meet them where they are.  To share this Hope I have, and to bless them, to bless them in His name. 

The Equalizer

Take human beings, introduce to them a health crisis in their child, compel them to live and breathe for days the hospital environment...and you notice an interesting fact...The Hospital is the great Equalizer.

I have been feeling a bit discouraged, more than discouraged...disheartened, by the many struggles we are party to, where families are deciding whether or not to fight for their children.  Due to incomprehensibly complex factors, families here who have a child born with special needs, often face a nearly unthinkable choice...whether or not to fight for their child or to rather choose the soul-scarring option to walk away.  Too often I know that the decision is made not to treat the child.  Too often the family believes they have no other choice than to abandon.

Each and every story that we know about leaves a wound on our hearts.  I hadn't realized how heavy the burden of this knowledge had grown.  It was not until our recent hospitalization with The Charmer that I felt an infusion of hope and encouragement...evidence that there are those around us who choose to fight for their children...to do all they can to preserve their lives. 

Shi-yu's parents have spent months and thousands of dollars to fight for her.  The well documented gender bias for male offspring in this part of the world would leave many girls at risk.  Their families, unwilling or unable to invest in the costly treatment for a daughter.  My local friends say, "that is a countryside problem...city people don't feel that way about girls."  And while that may be generally true, I have seen a new city-dwelling father turn away in shame before his male family members when his newborn, whisked out of the operating room and in into our waiting room, was perfunctorily announced to be a girl.  Yet, Shi-yu's parents have put their entire lives on hold and have spent likely most of their savings to treat her severe complications.  They care for her every need, spoon feed her, encourage her to try to stand and walk, wipe her brow, massage her aching stomach...she is loved.

Jin Jin's grandparents came to the hospital three days ahead of her surgery to admit her.  They didn't want to risk any illness, or that something might inhibit their granddaughter's access to the surgery she desperately needed.  They cooed and bounced, cleaned and fed, paced and cajoled their grandchild in a bleak hospital room...because they are fighting for her.  They are not well to do, yet they are investing everything to give Jin Jin a chance at a healthy life!  She is a baby girl.  I never saw her parents, not even on the day of surgery.  Perhaps they are busy working; they may be some of the scores who travel as migrant workers all over this huge nation?  Whatever the case, it is Jin Jin's grandparents who are giving their all to bless their granddaughter...she is loved.



There are other families that we bumped up against.  Others who are still on the edge, weighing the decision...to fight or to surrender their babies.  I pray that the tenacity of love and the allure of hope will shine forth from Shi-yu and Jin Jin's families and will enchant them...challenge those nervous parents to press on and fight for their babies.



We were just one of them.   We are of those who fight for the weaker ones...our children who depend on us to spend ourselves unreservedly to protect them.

In that place we are not foreigners.  We are parents.

In that place we are not rich or poor.  We are parents.

In that place we are not bound to our cultural identities.  We are parents.

In that place we are not different, but the same.  We are parents.

....In that place we are all in need of miracles...of deliverance...of the Comforter's touch...

Sprung.

Enjoying a Monkey brought as a gift to the hospital!

We are home tonight.

Quite exhausted but very, very grateful to be here.

The quick report and some photos...then there is much more to share in the coming days about The Charmer's revised surgical plan, Jin Jin's surgery, and our roomate (Shi Yu's) prognosis.

KEEP PRAYING.  We have come home, but the girls remain and face significant challenges in the days to come.  We will be visiting them regularly as something profound has bound us all together. 

The Charmer's blood work today showed that his ESR count which had been very high last Thursday in the high 80's, had dropped to just 14 today.  There will be quite a bit of visiting the hospital for x-rays, blood work-ups, and wound checks over the coming three weeks...but if we can maintain the regimen of high doses of oral anti-biotics, four times per day, we can pass the next 23 days of treatment...at home.

Pins have been removed from both legs now, and surgery delayed until all the staph infection is cleared.  This may put back our surgical plan more than 3 weeks.

Jin Jin's surgery today was successful!  She had a tumor on her spinal column and it appears that everything was removed, the neural sac is left intact, and I saw her wiggling her fingers and toes this evening.  It was a very, very difficult surgery according to the surgeon, but he was thrilled to report that she seems to have come through it very well! 

Bright-eyed before surgery - while visiting her room

This morning, when The Charmer and I awoke in the hospital we talked about Jin Jin's big day.  I picked him up, carried him to her room, and we sat with them for awhile.  Then we prayed for her, even The Charmer prayed for her, and encouraged the grandparents with the news that you were all praying for her too.  They were so, so touched.  It was beautiful.  They love their granddaughter intensely, and they are fighting for her!  We connected at a level that surprised me, and encouraged me deeply.  They are strict Hui Muslims, but still warmly welcomed our prayers. We promised them tonight as we left that we would all continue to pray for her recovery and that we'd be back to visit, soon.

The Charmer thought it a good idea to give Monkey to Jin Jin to "help her" through her surgery day

Our Prayer Team visiting in the early AM

Magpie and Jin Jin's Grandmother after surgery tonight

Brownie and Jin Jin's Grandfather by her post-op recovery bed

Awake!  After surgery!

Our Roommate was without fever yesterday and today!  This is a HUGE praise!  It was a significant turn around for her and one that delighted her doctors and her parents most of all.  She faces a long road, perhaps one to two months more of hospitalization to defeat the bone infection that had long to develop before she was admitted for treatment.

Her mother thanks you all for remembering her in prayer.  I told them about the blog and the writing about her situation...then I said, "you have people who know Jesus all over the world who are asking for Shi Yu's healing."  They were incredulous...and obviously touched.  It was a melancholy parting for us, with the knowledge that it will be a long time before she returns home to the life she knew before.  Her family has invested thousands of yuan to pay for her treatment.  I was astounded to learn that the original injury to her arm happened in May!  She has been nursing a growing bone infection for months...and has already been in our local hospital for a month before we met her!

Shi Yu and Brownie sit together during one of her brief episodes on being upright

 I learned some things while in the hospital these last five days.  I will write more about them tomorrow...but I am humbled by the things shown to me...and the way I was included.  These are precious souls who I know our Father loves deeply. How great to call upon our God along with you, and stand for healing and comfort for these who have perhaps never before been prayed for in their lives! Without being pressed together into the frantic and uncomfortable world of the local hospital, I would have never known them.  What a gift to stand with them, to pray for them, and to be received by them.

Must go to bed.  Truly exhausted and needing to feel the comfort of our bed.

More tomorrow.

Hospital Update and Prayer Requests

So sorry for no updates...the hospital is a wifi-free-zone.  Not a great thing.  I have quickly read emails from those who have written and we want to say THANK YOU!  We will try to respond as soon as possible and we can have access to wifi again.

I have just returned home to have my very first shower in three days (aren't you delighted that you can't smell through the internet?!)

The Charmer is likely going to be in the hospital for a full six days.  We are awaiting the development of the culture from the unfortunate-looking discharge from his leg.  Until then, we are giving him a heavy, every six hour, infusion of an antibiotic that kills staph.  It is most likely that he has a staph infection in the bone.  If the culture shows that it is not a drug-resistant strain of staph, then we may good to go home with oral antibiotics on Tuesday.  If it is more serious, we may be long-term boarders at the hospital.

He has stayed in generally good spirits, today has been more difficult though as his IV site blew a vein and it took nearly thirty minutes and many, many pokes, accompanied by wailing, sweating, and threats (on the part of the patient's mother :)  It appears that the massive swelling in his left leg is reducing, and today we were unable to express any pus from the wounds...all of which point to good results with the current choice of antibiotics!

He tells me that he hates doctors, that nurses should apologize to him for every discomfort, and that he demands that we hurry up and "shoot the bad guys livin' in (his) leg!"

Momma's $1 per night bed rental...yes...it is a comfortable as it looks!

We are in a room with a beautiful girl who has a serious, life-threatening bone infection.  She was riding her bike, she fell and broke her arm in three places.  She went to the hospital near her home where her family paid for surgery that has resulted in a horrendous, drug-resistant infection in her bone that has her raging with fever and in tremendous pain.  I have literally been praying against death in that room, hour by hour.  Today, it seems that she's taken a turn for the better!  Today she had a procedure done, in the room, that was another gruesome episode.  I saw her father, who along with her mother has never left her side, crying as he was unable to remain in the room.  I just wept and prayed.  They are so dear and we've had a great deal of time to talk to each other about meaningful matters.  It has been a great privilege to be there with them.

Our roomate, and her watchful parents

Another precious soul has entered our little hospital posse.  A nine-month old baby girl who was born with Spina Bifida.  This is the same congenital birth condition that The Charmer was born with.  This baby has use of her limbs fully, but, now her back has opened and she is leaking brain fluid.  She also has a tethered spinal chord (her nerves are bound to the spinal chord instead of moving freely.)

Jin Jin and Potato share a moment in our room

Her family is not wealthy, I think it is her grandparents who are staying with her awaiting her surgery on Monday morning.  Neurosurgery will be done.  This surgery can be life-altering if anything goes wrong.  PLEASE PRAY FOR JIN JIN's surgery.  She came into our room today with her family, enchanted us all, and we prayed for her body to have strength, healing, and protection.  It is a privilege to be able to pray for these precious families who it seems He has brought close to us, while we all face uncertain outcomes for our children, among a sea of faces who are also in inmates at the hospital.  Our surgeon told The Charmer today that he really needed our guy's help in praying for some of these serious cases...and he was glad that The Charmer was on the scene to do just that!

Visiting hour in our room today...12 Hs...Jin Jin's family...and our Roomate's family...the atmosphere was warm

Family support.

Packed room.

Auntie "Feryl" as Mr. Sunshine calls her...present to encourage The Charmer and bring some corn :)

Brownie will stay with us overnight tonight...keepin' the party goin'

Must run and get clean clothes, some food, and a headache powder for my seizing head...


Keep praying for The Charmer but also our roommate and Jin Jin!  Life is fragile, we see it here so closely as suffering is all around...

Thanks for all your love and support!