Update

Well we've had a very full holiday and start to 2010. I'm amazed that we've now lived "Here" for over 18 months. So many things have settled and still much remains new each day.

I've struggled with my writing of late. Partly due to the volume of work with the Christmas performances, the English Competition and of course the ADOPTION! Wow, having gone through the adoption gamut twice before, nothing goes more smoothly...everything takes time, and the clock is ticking on our Pending Approval from China to adopt Noah Graham. All paperwork, including the USCIS clearances have to be received from our US agency in Beijing by February 26th...it's going to be very, very close.

I think that the writing block perhaps has been more due to the fact that the initial cultural "wows" have greatly reduced. Now when I have a crazy experience I don't immediately think "well, I've got to blog about that." In fact I'm more likely to say to myself "that's life Here."

Just last week, while traveling by hired car for the 45 minute trip to the Western-style food market with Mrs. Wu from the 4th floor, periodically the driver turned the car off when we stopped at lights. Apparently this was due to something malfunctioning as some 20 minutes into our trip the windshield wipers on the little van went totally wild...beating at a frenzied pace. Then, nearly simultaneously, the dashboard began to emit copious amounts of smoke. The driver pulled slightly over on the interstate (not fully off the road...as is most often the case, drivers often stop their cars in any lane of the road they care to.) Mrs. Wu and I continued in our discussions of current events when a few moments later a loud crack/crashing sound hit the outside of the van. We scurried out of the van and opted to stand in the rain and wind (at about 38 degrees) for some 30 minutes while we waited for another car to come and get us.

The above story is not interesting really, but our reaction to it, was. We did not talk about it. We did not complain about it. We did not, during our 30 minutes standing in the rain and wind on the side of the interstate with huge trucks flying by....talk about it. We continued on with our discussions and when the car arrived, got in an carried on to the market. Later that day it hit me..."I have really changed. Living Here has changed me." I, used to the luxuries and comforts of our life There, would be totally fired up and frustrated at anything that caused a delay or inconvenience in my life. Depending on my mood, a person who was too slow to vacate a parking space would actually anger me! And my requirements for comfort...they were strict. I didn't like to be too cold, too hot (70 degrees in my climate controlled home, thank you), didn't want to be too hungry, wanted to ride in my comfortable vehicle that I owned and controlled the "departure and arrival times" for it...etc.

Our first year Here we often commented about the immense level of frustration we encountered while trying to go out and get something we needed. City buses seemed loud, fumy and way too crowded. Taxis seemed dirty and to wait more than five minutes for one to pick you up...that was heinous! Lines at the check-outs that exceeded 4 people, would set my gut roiling...

But now...I don't seem to notice any of the above things. They just are what they are and we live Here so that's how it is. We had an experience last week that in the past would have ruined my mood for a large portion of the day and yet it did not rise to the level of even mentioning it with my traveling companion...

The same is true with the cold. It is every bit as cold here this year as it was last. And certainly inside it is rarely over 50-55 degrees...4 layers are mandatory for sleeping and waking time...and yet, we don't seem to mention it anymore.

Perhaps freeing our minds from our previous "comfort standards" has afforded us the often sought after sense of being content? Or perhaps we've determined that it is useless to wrestle against something that we simply cannot control?

The Chinese philosophy of thousands of years has much to do with the recognition that change is constant. While many of us from the West believe while change might be constant, we hold fast to the idea that with enough will-power, we can control our reality. Whereas many here would say that since change is constant, there is no use fighting or striving for control...to acquiesce is to find peace.

The struggles of cross-cultural life remain. We have many more challenges with relationships and the forces of culture within them than we did last year...but we also have more contentment, I believe.

In these past few months new awareness has begun to come to us regarding needs here in our community. We've begun to dream and have visions again of ways to serve our neighbors and exciting connections are being revealed to us that may lead us back to a core passion of ours: ministry to orphans. The coming weeks will hold opportunities for some meetings that will give us greater understanding about a burden on our hearts for older kids, the ones who "age-out" of the adoption world, yet remain without a family of their own. This group of kids, starting at age 14, is extremely vulnerable to exploitation (brothels, crime, servitude.) We believe that in our future, He may be calling us to be His hands and feet to meet needs of those kids here in this province. If you remember us...lift this up...we will tell you more as we know it.

Sometimes I feel as though I'm like flour being sifted...through the silver cup with the screen at the bottom, the lack of comfort and control like the grinding arm that separates and refines me more and more...

...may I continue to acquiesce to the forces...so that I might be present and available to run the race marked out for me.