For those who know me very well, they have heard, too many times, about my propensity to totally embarrass myself. I have a ton of stories that often my friends will say..."Oh, tell THAT ONE over again!" My Teammate says, "you could write a book just with all your embarrassing moment stories!" The fact that I have so many of them always helped during the days I hosted a talk radio program...if there was nothing much in the news to center the topic upon...then I could always drag out a good personal "embarrassing moment" story and the call lines would lite up with people who wanted to comment.
But, I think, Saturday was possibly my top 1 or 2 most embarrassing moment of my lifetime!
We have some friends from India. Their son has been in the school since we arrived and has been classmates with Brownie and Potato. They were fast friends from the start, especially because they could all speak English together immediately, before they had learned to speak Chinese with their classmates.
The family has decided to take their son back to India to enroll him in school there, as the schools in their area might be very difficult to enter if he goes further in our system.
Anyway, there was a "Farewell to Fawaz" gathering on Saturday at a clubhouse at the family's apartment complex. I offered to bring some food as I would always do. Friday night we had a slumber party for The Bug's birthday, so after making pancakes and bacon for 14 on Saturday morning, and having some other friends over for lunch, I was under pressure to come up with something to take for the party.
I decided on making quiche for lunch, so quickly assembled and extra to take to the party, as well.
We jammed onto an overcrowded bus to travel to the party. Everyone being careful not to jostle the bag with the quiche in it. When we arrived several, including the party hosts, gathered around to inquire about my culinary contribution.
I was explaining that this was a "quiche." I went on to detail the ingredients...eggs, flour, swiss cheese, vegetables, bacon...... BACON....
Just as I said the words...I was horrified!
I had totally forgotten/overlooked/spaced the fact that our dear friends, whose "going away" were were trying to honor, are MUSLIMS and therefore consider PORK, HEINOUS!
Standing there in my shock and embarrassment, my mind flooded with the stories I'd heard about the families extreme stance on pork. Like the time that the 1st grade teacher gave a hungry Fawaz some of the vegetable dish the other children were eating for school lunch...but it had PORK in it...and the parents were very, very unhappy! Even the dish that HAD pork in it is considered unclean...
and here I came, smiling, with my family of 9...and offered as my dish to HONOR our friends...a quiche with UNCLEAN meat in it!
I felt dizzy. I could NOT believe that I had done such a thing!
I apologized profusely..."I'm so sorry, so sorry! I never meant ANY disrespect. I don't know what I was thinking!" Tears stung in my eyes.
They were cool. They kept saying, "really it is okay, don't worry, there are other things for us to eat!"
Yeah, good thing they had other friends who had their heads screwed on...I guess my actions said..."good bye there friends...let me serve you some unclean food to show how important you were to us..."
Maybe some day I will be able to laugh about this one, just like I have about the time my dress was stuck in the backside of my pantyhose and I sauntered to the front of the church when I was 14...
Or the time, when I was in college, while speaking from the pulpit in a church in New Zealand, in expressing our Team's thankfulness for all the wonderful food the home-stay families had fed us I said 3-4 times how "stuffed" we were...in fact I "couldn't remember a time when I've been more stuffed."...only slightly aware of the horror on the faces of the congregation...I was immediately given a humiliating cultural language lesson by the Pastor on the spot that "stuffed" in NZ is akin to using the "F" word in American English!
I nearly died on that day, too.
28 February 2011
22 February 2011
Helping Special Needs Kids
I'm going to write a bit this morning about one of the three areas our work Here that is definitely developing.
I had a really wise friend tell us when we first arrived three years ago, "Don't initiate, only respond." In this she further went on advising that she'd "seen dozens of people come with great ideas, run around initiating projects, and get burned out and forced to return home." She said that we should always WAIT to see how He was leading, then RESPOND to that leading...but never to get out ahead of Him.
Though I'm typically not a good one at hearing other's advice and following it, by His grace, this time it stuck! So several times, as we've seen areas we'd "like to work in" we've held back and waited.
Qian Qian and his mother ushered us into a new understanding of part of our work Here. In fact, that night, on the bridge when we found them, The Bug whispered to me, "this is WHY we are Here." (If you are unfamiliar with the story of Qian Qian, see his story beginning in October, named "Humanity pt.s 1-3)
So we've come back from retreat with the direction to write our proposal to a charity group There, asking them to be our partner is fundraising. We would, with a group of like-minded folks Here in the city, identify babies/children born with special needs, especially those requiring surgery to correct the issue, and get them the surgery they need so that their parents CAN keep them.
I had a discussion with a dear lady on retreat that reminded me of my own previous misconceptions regarding WHY special needs children are available for adoption Here. I always gave a simple, broad answer that, "if a baby is born with a visible special need, and perfection is required, the parents do not want to keep that child." While in some cases that may be true, I am convinced that there is far more to this story.
After gaining a deeper understanding of the "cash upfront" requirements of the medical system Here, it is clear to me that many parents, who WOULD love to keep their child, CANNOT possibly do so because they cannot afford the medical treatment necessary. It would be not unlike my giving birth to a baby with a correctable special need, the demand being made of a million dollars, UPFRONT, to give my child the surgery needed...and NO SAFETY NETS (charitable hospitals, children's charities, government assistance, wealthy uncles/neighbors, churches.) There does not even exist the mandate that requires a hospital to give life-saving treatment to a person admitted who cannot pay (think of the signs posted in your local ER that state they will not refuse treatment.) These things do not exist Here. I can simply not imagine the horrific realization that the child I've given birth to needs surgery and I have NO HOPE of ever providing for him/her!
I believe MANY families struggle with this impossible reality, perhaps traveling to the cities for help, or resorting to begging, just as we found Qian Qian and his mother. This may explain why many children are abandoned at 2-8 months of age...their parents were struggling...TRYING to do anything else. (And, it is also most important to note that it is against the law to surrender your child for adoption, or to make a private adoption plan as families can do There...a child must be left, untraceable to their parents, before they are taken into care, given the surgery they need, and then listed for adoption.)
So, we have had a group of people beginning to connect Here in our city, with a similar burden for this project. (In fact, they have already helped 5 babies with surgery before we met!) To identify children through the local hospitals, and through word of mouth to the village midwives, that if a child is born with a special need, and the parents desire to see their child treated so that they can remain with their family, that we will be eager to provide that necessary surgery. I think of it as "orphan prevention."
I'm smiling as I type this with the knowledge that Qian Qian is at home even now, his mother and father reunited, along with his elder sisters...his mother's bravery and courage overcame the obstacle...
Please, lift us up as we prepare a proposal for this project, that we would only enter in where He is leading...that we not initiate, only respond!
I had a really wise friend tell us when we first arrived three years ago, "Don't initiate, only respond." In this she further went on advising that she'd "seen dozens of people come with great ideas, run around initiating projects, and get burned out and forced to return home." She said that we should always WAIT to see how He was leading, then RESPOND to that leading...but never to get out ahead of Him.
Though I'm typically not a good one at hearing other's advice and following it, by His grace, this time it stuck! So several times, as we've seen areas we'd "like to work in" we've held back and waited.
Qian Qian and his mother ushered us into a new understanding of part of our work Here. In fact, that night, on the bridge when we found them, The Bug whispered to me, "this is WHY we are Here." (If you are unfamiliar with the story of Qian Qian, see his story beginning in October, named "Humanity pt.s 1-3)
So we've come back from retreat with the direction to write our proposal to a charity group There, asking them to be our partner is fundraising. We would, with a group of like-minded folks Here in the city, identify babies/children born with special needs, especially those requiring surgery to correct the issue, and get them the surgery they need so that their parents CAN keep them.
I had a discussion with a dear lady on retreat that reminded me of my own previous misconceptions regarding WHY special needs children are available for adoption Here. I always gave a simple, broad answer that, "if a baby is born with a visible special need, and perfection is required, the parents do not want to keep that child." While in some cases that may be true, I am convinced that there is far more to this story.
After gaining a deeper understanding of the "cash upfront" requirements of the medical system Here, it is clear to me that many parents, who WOULD love to keep their child, CANNOT possibly do so because they cannot afford the medical treatment necessary. It would be not unlike my giving birth to a baby with a correctable special need, the demand being made of a million dollars, UPFRONT, to give my child the surgery needed...and NO SAFETY NETS (charitable hospitals, children's charities, government assistance, wealthy uncles/neighbors, churches.) There does not even exist the mandate that requires a hospital to give life-saving treatment to a person admitted who cannot pay (think of the signs posted in your local ER that state they will not refuse treatment.) These things do not exist Here. I can simply not imagine the horrific realization that the child I've given birth to needs surgery and I have NO HOPE of ever providing for him/her!
I believe MANY families struggle with this impossible reality, perhaps traveling to the cities for help, or resorting to begging, just as we found Qian Qian and his mother. This may explain why many children are abandoned at 2-8 months of age...their parents were struggling...TRYING to do anything else. (And, it is also most important to note that it is against the law to surrender your child for adoption, or to make a private adoption plan as families can do There...a child must be left, untraceable to their parents, before they are taken into care, given the surgery they need, and then listed for adoption.)
So, we have had a group of people beginning to connect Here in our city, with a similar burden for this project. (In fact, they have already helped 5 babies with surgery before we met!) To identify children through the local hospitals, and through word of mouth to the village midwives, that if a child is born with a special need, and the parents desire to see their child treated so that they can remain with their family, that we will be eager to provide that necessary surgery. I think of it as "orphan prevention."
I'm smiling as I type this with the knowledge that Qian Qian is at home even now, his mother and father reunited, along with his elder sisters...his mother's bravery and courage overcame the obstacle...
Please, lift us up as we prepare a proposal for this project, that we would only enter in where He is leading...that we not initiate, only respond!
20 February 2011
Back Home Again!
A brief post tonight to break our silence and tell you that we're back home again after our retreat. We absolutely feel refreshed and restored after an exciting, but arduous, past year! We visited a retreat center where families who work all over Asia come to rest and be quiet...dozens of families just like ours, from all over the world, like-minded, who savor the time to reconnect with each other and Him. The first year we went on retreat I thought, "Wow, this is so amazing, what a blessing!" The second year I thought, "Oh, I see, this is essential!" This year I thought, "Dear Lord, I hope we make it before the wheels fall of this rig!"
Once again we've been stirred up by the HS's guiding, refining more and more the vision for our work. Though we know all too well that on this journey of following that we will likely never know a 5 year plan...and seldom a 1 year plan...so we move forward with what He has revealed to us at this time, and ask for His help to remain faithful.
I will be writing at length in the days to come about some specific issues on which through the Book, meditation, and discussions with other brothers and sisters, we have more clarity.
We've been reminded again that the Way is one that is not easy, that calls for sacrifice, and is rich with blessing and hope!
Tomorrow we will again rise in the dark, force our arms and legs into the many layers of clothing required...and trudge back to the school that is the center of our life Here. We will be greeted by our fellow teachers and beloved students, with joy in our hearts to be where He wants us to be.
It seems as though our work is now compartmentalized a bit into three areas. The first being Adoption, which since 2005 has been our primary mnstry calling. The second, a developing program of "Orphan Prevention" if you will, about which I will write more in the near future. The third, living our lives in the community of the school.
There is much new to report, miracles of healing in the hearts of our newest children, milestones acheived by others, even announcements to make...but all that must wait for another day...
I am so greatful for restoration...and the joy that is a wellspring in my soul...He is so faithful.
Once again we've been stirred up by the HS's guiding, refining more and more the vision for our work. Though we know all too well that on this journey of following that we will likely never know a 5 year plan...and seldom a 1 year plan...so we move forward with what He has revealed to us at this time, and ask for His help to remain faithful.
I will be writing at length in the days to come about some specific issues on which through the Book, meditation, and discussions with other brothers and sisters, we have more clarity.
We've been reminded again that the Way is one that is not easy, that calls for sacrifice, and is rich with blessing and hope!
Tomorrow we will again rise in the dark, force our arms and legs into the many layers of clothing required...and trudge back to the school that is the center of our life Here. We will be greeted by our fellow teachers and beloved students, with joy in our hearts to be where He wants us to be.
It seems as though our work is now compartmentalized a bit into three areas. The first being Adoption, which since 2005 has been our primary mnstry calling. The second, a developing program of "Orphan Prevention" if you will, about which I will write more in the near future. The third, living our lives in the community of the school.
There is much new to report, miracles of healing in the hearts of our newest children, milestones acheived by others, even announcements to make...but all that must wait for another day...
I am so greatful for restoration...and the joy that is a wellspring in my soul...He is so faithful.
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